It's late and I should probably be asleep, but I can't. As of late, I find my mind wondering to various things, however it usually settles on my brothers. I don't talk about them often, however, their death still affects me -- even 20 years later. As a social worker who aspires to practice in the field of mental health, I have glaring reminders that I should probably talk to someone about my thoughts. However, there's a part of me that wants to keep thoughts because that's really all that I have of them.
I find myself wondering what it life would have been like had they not died 8 months apart when I was 7. My thoughts wander to places that allow me to imagine how it would've felt to have had an older brother who wasn't stricken with cerebral palsy. Or even what it would've been like to have had a younger brother who lived much longer than just a day. Would they have protected me? Would they have harrassed me and teased me for being the only girl?? At the same time, I think about how my life would've been had my older brother lived longer than the 17 years he was alotted...I was 7, he was 17...we were 10 years apart...both born on the 31st of our respective birth months. I often think had he lived, I would not have hesistated to have taken care of him when my parents no longer could. But, that's not my reality.
I sometimes think about how my oldest and youngest brother died and left me (the middle one) here -- almost as if I'm the last one standing. I often think about that fact and motivate myself because it's almost as if I've got to accomplish things for myself but also in memory of my brothers. But, honestly, how healthy is that???
I don't know...as with most of my posts, this is another random stream of thought. Either way, for those who may read my blog on occassion, please don't become alarmed. I'm not suicidal (lol), just highly introspective...so please forgive me for hosting my own therapy session via my personal blog :)
Friday, August 21, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Random blog thoughts for the hell of it...
1) Glad to be out of school and done with my internship (for a week, lol). I love grad school but it's definitely been a trying time -- especially when I had to quit my job. Nonetheless, I'm thinking long term and my last job DEFINITELY was not a long term position!! So, for now I'll just concentrate on my last 2 semesters and continue to think about/plan my graduation party...and whether it'll be cool to have a couple adult beverages at said party with my grandmother in attendance, lol.
2) Speaking of grad school...when it's over, I'd really like to start working and eventually obtain my license. HOWEVER, I'd also really like to pursue a PhD in Social Work so that I can teach as well as conduct research -- possibly in the area of community mental health and the prison system. Clark Atlanta has a wonderful program and I would love to go, but I'm still kinda of scared about severing the apron strings and moving to Atlanta (if I get accepted)... Yes, I'm 28...however, I'm somewhat apprehensive about leaving Alabama!! Seriously, I can think of a million reasons why I wouldn't want to move out of AL, but I bet I come up with at least 2 million reasons why I should be on the first thing smoking out of here...so, I digress...
3) My class reunion is in 2 weeks and I'm sooo excited!! I haven't bought my ticket yet due to financial constraints, but nonetheless I will be there!! Still haven't figured out what I'm gonna wear to the banquet, let me tell you that's not deterring me at all. Many of my classmates are on Facebook, however, I'd like to see them in person.
4) Last random thought of the day...you ever felt like you wanted to do something to save the world, but just didn't quite know where to start?? That's how I feel on a constant basis...maybe my time off will allow me to hone my thoughts.
2) Speaking of grad school...when it's over, I'd really like to start working and eventually obtain my license. HOWEVER, I'd also really like to pursue a PhD in Social Work so that I can teach as well as conduct research -- possibly in the area of community mental health and the prison system. Clark Atlanta has a wonderful program and I would love to go, but I'm still kinda of scared about severing the apron strings and moving to Atlanta (if I get accepted)... Yes, I'm 28...however, I'm somewhat apprehensive about leaving Alabama!! Seriously, I can think of a million reasons why I wouldn't want to move out of AL, but I bet I come up with at least 2 million reasons why I should be on the first thing smoking out of here...so, I digress...
3) My class reunion is in 2 weeks and I'm sooo excited!! I haven't bought my ticket yet due to financial constraints, but nonetheless I will be there!! Still haven't figured out what I'm gonna wear to the banquet, let me tell you that's not deterring me at all. Many of my classmates are on Facebook, however, I'd like to see them in person.
4) Last random thought of the day...you ever felt like you wanted to do something to save the world, but just didn't quite know where to start?? That's how I feel on a constant basis...maybe my time off will allow me to hone my thoughts.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I remember when...
My dad has always been a great influence in many aspects of my life. For instance, my dad has always been a great fan of music and he, in turn, made me one as well. On one particular night, I remember, as a young girl waiting up for him as I normally did to get off of his 2nd shift job at the local General Motors plant in Decatur, AL. I greeted him with a huge smile as he did me...we went through our normal father/daughter exchange in which both of us asked the other how their respective day went. However, on this particular night, I distinctly recall my dad telling me how he picked up a new cassette tape (lol)... I became excited and asked who it was. The tape that he presented to me left an indeliable mark on me -- it was Michael Jackson's "Bad" LP. I remember my dad asking me if I knew who he was and I said, "of course!!" After all, I was a huge fan of MTV and he was constantly plastered on that channel despite the darker hue of his skin. I remember Daddy putting the tape into the tape player in my room and listening to the first few notes of the intro to the title track of the "Bad" album. I remember being instantly hooked...I looked at my dad and he looked at me. We bobbed our heads and listened to a few more of the tracks. Prior to that shared moment, I remember Michael as being the guy who walked on the squares that lit up in the "Billie Jean" video. Prior to that moment, I remember everyone being transfixed in my household while we watch the Motown 25th Anniversary special where Michael introduced the infamous "moonwalk". I also remember being slightly scared at watching the "Thriller" video or wondering if I was ever gonna get into a fight in the street like he did in the "Beat It" video. But, on the night that my dad brought the "Bad" tape into my room, I remember becoming a lifelong fan....I didn't miss a tape/cd of his...everything from "Dangerous", to "HIStory" (which I rushed from freshman band camp to get and spent my LAST $25 on it because it was a double disc and those weren't popular during that time...nonetheless a good investment in my opinion), and "Invincible" ("Butterflies" was my isht during college). Either way, regardless of the memory or the album/new music that he came up with, nothing besides that time where I became a bonified MJ fan will compare to the time when I heard that he died. I thought it was a terrible rumor and even thought it was a hoax. But, I have now accepted that he's no longer here...so now, I will just remember him...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Why I Love/Hate HBCUs
As everyone knows by now, I attend Alabama A&M. By growing up in North Alabama, I always saw the frequent headlines about A&M and its problems that often ranged from getting a new president or uncovering that yet another person had been stealing from the University. As the time approached for me to make a decision about where I wanted to go to college, I knew that A&M was not an option...not so much because I didn't want to go to a "Historically Black" institution, but because I didn't want to attend school so close to home...(actually, I wanted to follow Patrice to Alabama State University, but that's a whole 'nother story). Either way, I ended up at UAB and I did my five years (lol) and definitely had my fun while there. However, I still had a longing to attend an HBCU, so when it came time to prepare to receive a Master's degree, I gave A&M another look.
While there, I have had the wonderful experience of learning for acclaimed academians and practitioners. I actually feel as my professors are all the very interested in my well-being as well as my future -- and that's something that I didn't experience while at UAB. However, with all of these positives of attending an HBCU, there is an EXTREME downside to it....THEIR ADMINISTRATIVE DEPARTMENTS SUCK!!!!
OMG! Right about now, if I could ride up to Normal, Alabama and go on the Hill I might just strangle someone at the business office!! I've been waiting on my refund from my financial aid for TWO WEEKS and although I call and am consistently polite to everyone with whom I speak, they still manage to give me the run-around!!! Ugh! I honestly don't understand it! How is that I never EVER encountered these problems in all of my years at UAB. Yet, without fail, my financial aid refund disbursement process is always like pulling teeth!!! It might not be such a big deal, but I'm not working and that financial aid is my ONLY source of money at this time...I try not to be a whiner, but GEEZ!!
Seriously, no one understands how I cannot wait until May 2010!
While there, I have had the wonderful experience of learning for acclaimed academians and practitioners. I actually feel as my professors are all the very interested in my well-being as well as my future -- and that's something that I didn't experience while at UAB. However, with all of these positives of attending an HBCU, there is an EXTREME downside to it....THEIR ADMINISTRATIVE DEPARTMENTS SUCK!!!!
OMG! Right about now, if I could ride up to Normal, Alabama and go on the Hill I might just strangle someone at the business office!! I've been waiting on my refund from my financial aid for TWO WEEKS and although I call and am consistently polite to everyone with whom I speak, they still manage to give me the run-around!!! Ugh! I honestly don't understand it! How is that I never EVER encountered these problems in all of my years at UAB. Yet, without fail, my financial aid refund disbursement process is always like pulling teeth!!! It might not be such a big deal, but I'm not working and that financial aid is my ONLY source of money at this time...I try not to be a whiner, but GEEZ!!
Seriously, no one understands how I cannot wait until May 2010!
Friday, May 29, 2009
A New Start...a quick blog
Today is my last day at work. I'm leaving so that I can be begin my internship at a local mental hospital. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about everything, honestly. On one hand, I'm sad to leave the people as well as the freedom to go and do almost anything I pleased (just as long as my work was completed). But, at the same time, I'm happy (well maybe elated) to not only move to the next level in my career/education, but I'll get to leave the ignorance that often permeates the four walls of this building which often makes it hard to function. (sidebar: 2 of co-workers/girlfriends and I often refer to our job as Sesame Street)...
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Dedicated to Tericka...where's my access?!?!
So, clearly I'm not one of the popular bloggers in cyberspace. However, I do know that I have a few faithful readers...one of them being, Tericka. However, when I attempt to read her blog, it's blocked. THEN, I saw where she posted a comment on one of my recent blog entries that stated I had access to her blog but when I clicked on her blog, there was no access granted...AGAIN
So, as I fall to ground in despair with my hand on my forehead and wonder to myself, "alas, what shall I do?", I'll hope that this is a screaming notice to Tericka that I don't have access to her blog. "Where art thou blog", I ask thee in my best medieval English voice.....sigh
So, as I fall to ground in despair with my hand on my forehead and wonder to myself, "alas, what shall I do?", I'll hope that this is a screaming notice to Tericka that I don't have access to her blog. "Where art thou blog", I ask thee in my best medieval English voice.....sigh
Monday, April 6, 2009
Mixed Feelings About a Mixture of Things
1) School's almost out for the semester and I am glad. However, I'd be lying if I weren't truthful in saying that I haven't been the best student. I'd like to finish with a strong finish; however, I'm so far behind that I don't even know where I'd even begin that strong finish...sigh
2) Speaking of strong finishes, I'm supposed to begin an internship for my degree. I'm excited but also apprehensive because it will more than likely require me to quit my job. While things haven't been exactly smooth at my job, I still had job security and a decent but very small paycheck coming in every other week. While at the interview for my internship, I was offered a part-time position so I'll have some money coming in; but, I'm sure it won't be what I was getting. Either way, I'm hopeful and optimistic because God will provide...He always does ;-) Nonetheless, my job requires a 30 day notice and within those 30 days, one is required to make sure that all their files are "up to par"...please sigh with me once more...thanks
3) I should be jetting off to Hawaii in about 3 weeks. While I'm suuuuper excited, I'm apprehensive as well. As the maid of honor, I've been given the duty to make one of two speeches about my dear friend. I'm really excited about this, but I fear that I might get up there and start rambling...However, my biggest prayer that I don't ramble so much that I start to bring up her old boyfriends or another equally embarrassing subject! Lol! I realize that I need to focus my thoughts by writing my speech, but there's so much that I could say about her...just like with all my dear, true friends, I love them bunches :)
4) Within the same vein of my previous thought, my bestie is moving. I'm sad to see her and Miss R leave, but I know it's for the best. I know she'll do well; she always does. It's just a little bittersweet because rather than just merely stopping by to see her on my way back from school or from seeing my parents, I'll have to get a plane ticket and/or a rental car. However, I'm all about growth especially in the Spring...so it's her season and I must accept that and watch her grow
5) Lastly, I don't know if I've mentioned this on my blog but Brandon and I parted ways. With this break-up, I feel very liberated. However, I also feel that I'm not careful, I could end up in a situation that I'm not ready for...more specifically, I been meeting lots of nice guys...some more enchanting than others, lol. Nonetheless, I know that I am what some would call "serial monogomist" (sp?)...I love to have a boyfriend. So it's almost natural for me to feel myself getting attached to people way too quickly; but I realize that is a habit that I MUST break. So, I've been dating different guys and it seems to be working well so far...But, I'd be lying if I didn't see myself getting attached. So rather than repeating my past, I often take self-imposed sabaticals from certain people. The only thing about that is that people don't always understand those sabaticals....I find myself wanting to tell those people," dude, no it doesn't have anything to do with you" or "we're not in a relationship, can you please let me breathe???"...geez! There's much talk about how women are so overly-emotionally and sensitive; however, some men fit in that same category...
Anyway, have a happy and blessed Monday all!!
2) Speaking of strong finishes, I'm supposed to begin an internship for my degree. I'm excited but also apprehensive because it will more than likely require me to quit my job. While things haven't been exactly smooth at my job, I still had job security and a decent but very small paycheck coming in every other week. While at the interview for my internship, I was offered a part-time position so I'll have some money coming in; but, I'm sure it won't be what I was getting. Either way, I'm hopeful and optimistic because God will provide...He always does ;-) Nonetheless, my job requires a 30 day notice and within those 30 days, one is required to make sure that all their files are "up to par"...please sigh with me once more...thanks
3) I should be jetting off to Hawaii in about 3 weeks. While I'm suuuuper excited, I'm apprehensive as well. As the maid of honor, I've been given the duty to make one of two speeches about my dear friend. I'm really excited about this, but I fear that I might get up there and start rambling...However, my biggest prayer that I don't ramble so much that I start to bring up her old boyfriends or another equally embarrassing subject! Lol! I realize that I need to focus my thoughts by writing my speech, but there's so much that I could say about her...just like with all my dear, true friends, I love them bunches :)
4) Within the same vein of my previous thought, my bestie is moving. I'm sad to see her and Miss R leave, but I know it's for the best. I know she'll do well; she always does. It's just a little bittersweet because rather than just merely stopping by to see her on my way back from school or from seeing my parents, I'll have to get a plane ticket and/or a rental car. However, I'm all about growth especially in the Spring...so it's her season and I must accept that and watch her grow
5) Lastly, I don't know if I've mentioned this on my blog but Brandon and I parted ways. With this break-up, I feel very liberated. However, I also feel that I'm not careful, I could end up in a situation that I'm not ready for...more specifically, I been meeting lots of nice guys...some more enchanting than others, lol. Nonetheless, I know that I am what some would call "serial monogomist" (sp?)...I love to have a boyfriend. So it's almost natural for me to feel myself getting attached to people way too quickly; but I realize that is a habit that I MUST break. So, I've been dating different guys and it seems to be working well so far...But, I'd be lying if I didn't see myself getting attached. So rather than repeating my past, I often take self-imposed sabaticals from certain people. The only thing about that is that people don't always understand those sabaticals....I find myself wanting to tell those people," dude, no it doesn't have anything to do with you" or "we're not in a relationship, can you please let me breathe???"...geez! There's much talk about how women are so overly-emotionally and sensitive; however, some men fit in that same category...
Anyway, have a happy and blessed Monday all!!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Random Thoughts for a Mundane Monday....
I had a pretty decent weekend, nothing extremely pressing to complain about...HOWEVER, I did notice a couple of things that I wanted to vent about!!
1) Why do the majority of the size 12-14 swimsuits look so old and matronly?!?! OMG! I really thought I could spend a little time yesterday and pick up a couple of swimsuits for my upcoming trip to Hawaii, but that task is proving to be a little more difficult than I ever imagined! Almost every swimsuit that I came across, had a ridiculous floral print (gag me!!) ALONG with some type of sash, tie, or other unnecessary ornamentation.
Seriously...just because I'm not a size 8 means that I'm out of the running for a halfway decent swimsuit?!?! Wrong!!! While I acknowledge that I am overweight, it should not deem that I can't find a nice swimsuit without breaking the bank! I could (and have) hopped on the 'net to try to find a nice swimsuit that is befitting a woman of my size, however, the really cute ones were $100+. No ma'am/sir...it's not that serious...I don't go swimming enough to spend that type of money. However, if we were discussing a handbag, that might be a different thing :-)
2) Why are so many people trying to use lawsuits to get ahead?!?! I mean, seriously, I ran into/overheard at least 3 people over the past weekend talking about how they couldn't wait for their lawsuit to come in! WTF??? I know the world is pretty screwed up but it was still somewhat bothersome that it seemed as if so many people were waiting for their "ship to come in". Within the people that I ran into who discussed their pending lawsuit, one thing seemed to be common among them; from appearances, they didn't necessarily seem as if they were on the upper echelon of economic well-being in the first place. So, with that being said, I know that being poor or impoverished brings on a certain amount of despair and hopelessness. However, I would honestly hope that within that hopelessness there's a certain amount of ambition to want to see oneself do better rather than just wait for some money to come in -- because 9 times out of 10, even that lawsuit money won't last long...just look at how many past lottery winners are now broke.
Anywhoo, that's my rant for the day. If anyone is still reading this blog, I sincerely hope that you'll have a wonderfully blessed week...but if you're not, then make it your business to do so. This is Spring and it is the time for renewal. Remember: "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." --Isaiah 40:31
1) Why do the majority of the size 12-14 swimsuits look so old and matronly?!?! OMG! I really thought I could spend a little time yesterday and pick up a couple of swimsuits for my upcoming trip to Hawaii, but that task is proving to be a little more difficult than I ever imagined! Almost every swimsuit that I came across, had a ridiculous floral print (gag me!!) ALONG with some type of sash, tie, or other unnecessary ornamentation.
Seriously...just because I'm not a size 8 means that I'm out of the running for a halfway decent swimsuit?!?! Wrong!!! While I acknowledge that I am overweight, it should not deem that I can't find a nice swimsuit without breaking the bank! I could (and have) hopped on the 'net to try to find a nice swimsuit that is befitting a woman of my size, however, the really cute ones were $100+. No ma'am/sir...it's not that serious...I don't go swimming enough to spend that type of money. However, if we were discussing a handbag, that might be a different thing :-)
2) Why are so many people trying to use lawsuits to get ahead?!?! I mean, seriously, I ran into/overheard at least 3 people over the past weekend talking about how they couldn't wait for their lawsuit to come in! WTF??? I know the world is pretty screwed up but it was still somewhat bothersome that it seemed as if so many people were waiting for their "ship to come in". Within the people that I ran into who discussed their pending lawsuit, one thing seemed to be common among them; from appearances, they didn't necessarily seem as if they were on the upper echelon of economic well-being in the first place. So, with that being said, I know that being poor or impoverished brings on a certain amount of despair and hopelessness. However, I would honestly hope that within that hopelessness there's a certain amount of ambition to want to see oneself do better rather than just wait for some money to come in -- because 9 times out of 10, even that lawsuit money won't last long...just look at how many past lottery winners are now broke.
Anywhoo, that's my rant for the day. If anyone is still reading this blog, I sincerely hope that you'll have a wonderfully blessed week...but if you're not, then make it your business to do so. This is Spring and it is the time for renewal. Remember: "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." --Isaiah 40:31
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Chris Brown and Rihanna...can't they just live their lives???
So, the radios, internet, tv, etc have been totally saturated with the latest editions to the Chris Brown/Rihanna saga. My question is..."am I the only who thinks that these people should be left alone???" Seriously. Yes, it was wrong for C.B. to beat up Rihanna like that...and even then, I am basing my assumption on the picture that was leaked by the police department. However, I find fault in the way that C.B. has been attacked. I'm not saying that he was not wrong, but at the same time, he's innocent until proven guilty....
I just find it extremely sickening how people just have this fascination with what's going on in Chris and Rihanna's lives...I mean, don't people have bigger fish to fry?!?! After all, we ARE in a recession!!! People are losing jobs left and right, along with losing their houses, and their retirement funds/pensions!! However, people would prefer to stay glued to the tv to get the latest about what's going on with ol Chris and RiRi!!
I mean, I would be okay if I could easily turn on CNN or Headline News to see the least developments on President Obama's administration or how Rush Limbaugh continues to make himself look like a racist prick...however, I have a SERIOUS problem when those aforementioned channels are known for respectable new coverage are not filling their time and their news tickers with the most recent developments regarding Chris Brown!!!! Ugh!!! Who cares if he gets counseling with his pastor!!! I wish him well, but that does not affect my life. Who cares if his childhood consisted of his parents being violent toward each other!!! Yeah, that's really sad and unfortunate; I hope the counseling helps but that still doesn't affect my life. Who cares if Chris and Rihanna decided to reconcile!!! If that's what they want to do, I wish them all the luck in the world; but, again, THAT DOES NOT AFFECT MY LIFE!!!!
I guess, in the end, what I'm trying to say is that people should be able to live their lives however those choose as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. Chris and Rihanna getting into an altercation will not help me pay my bills nor will it ensure that I do well in school. I understand that the lives of celebrities are often fascinating to look at. However, is there ever a point in time when we just say "enough is enough"???
I just find it extremely sickening how people just have this fascination with what's going on in Chris and Rihanna's lives...I mean, don't people have bigger fish to fry?!?! After all, we ARE in a recession!!! People are losing jobs left and right, along with losing their houses, and their retirement funds/pensions!! However, people would prefer to stay glued to the tv to get the latest about what's going on with ol Chris and RiRi!!
I mean, I would be okay if I could easily turn on CNN or Headline News to see the least developments on President Obama's administration or how Rush Limbaugh continues to make himself look like a racist prick...however, I have a SERIOUS problem when those aforementioned channels are known for respectable new coverage are not filling their time and their news tickers with the most recent developments regarding Chris Brown!!!! Ugh!!! Who cares if he gets counseling with his pastor!!! I wish him well, but that does not affect my life. Who cares if his childhood consisted of his parents being violent toward each other!!! Yeah, that's really sad and unfortunate; I hope the counseling helps but that still doesn't affect my life. Who cares if Chris and Rihanna decided to reconcile!!! If that's what they want to do, I wish them all the luck in the world; but, again, THAT DOES NOT AFFECT MY LIFE!!!!
I guess, in the end, what I'm trying to say is that people should be able to live their lives however those choose as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. Chris and Rihanna getting into an altercation will not help me pay my bills nor will it ensure that I do well in school. I understand that the lives of celebrities are often fascinating to look at. However, is there ever a point in time when we just say "enough is enough"???
Monday, March 2, 2009
For Patrice and Kendie :)
So...within the past two days, I have gotten requests for the aforementioned ladies to update my blog. No, scratch that...it wasn't a request; it was more like, a demand. Lol! Anywhoo...I guess I've kinda of developed a blog phobia. Maybe phobia is a strong word, but the feeling is more a less the kind where one side of your mind tells me, "you should update your blog"...meanwhile, the other side says, "you seriously don't have time". Nonetheless, I've decided to get over my blog fear, phobia, etc and appease my loving friends :)
School and work have seriously gotten me bogged down; but, I can handle it. I can't figure out which one is more stressful, but I think that work is close to winning that award. Ugh. The agency that I work for is going through quite a bit of turmoil, so there are constant changes in the midst of people trying to maintain their cool when you can tell that they're one step away from losing it. The economy has seriously affected us because there is not any funding being contributed to the people that we serve. However, in that lack of funding, there are also forces who seem to want to see our agency fail...I'm not going to get specific because I don't know who is lurking around. Either way, there has been a strong push for everyone to be on their "p's and q's" but even in doing so, it almost seems as if we're fighting a losing battle. So, with that I'm extremely grateful that I'm in school because I don't know how much longer my agency will be in existance in its current form....ok, enough of the sad stuff.
Words cannot express how excited I am to be going to Hawaii next month!!!! AHHHH!!! While I'm not exactly in beach-body shape (I have lost weight, though), I'm still really thrilled to get some of that Hawaiian sun!!
Besides that, I'm looking forward to attempting to plan a class reunion alongside my best bud :) I can only imagine the work that's ahead of us and I am realistic enough to know that we probably won't agree on everything. But, I know that we'll work everything out and hopefully it'll be a success!! However, I wish that my other homie-til-end could be more involved, but living in Japan might not be very conducive to planning a class reunion in Decatur, AL, lol! Either way, I can't wait!!!!
Ok, that's enough for now...gotta get back to work. Hopefully, I have appeased the masses by gracing cyberspace with my prescence and thoughts...lol
School and work have seriously gotten me bogged down; but, I can handle it. I can't figure out which one is more stressful, but I think that work is close to winning that award. Ugh. The agency that I work for is going through quite a bit of turmoil, so there are constant changes in the midst of people trying to maintain their cool when you can tell that they're one step away from losing it. The economy has seriously affected us because there is not any funding being contributed to the people that we serve. However, in that lack of funding, there are also forces who seem to want to see our agency fail...I'm not going to get specific because I don't know who is lurking around. Either way, there has been a strong push for everyone to be on their "p's and q's" but even in doing so, it almost seems as if we're fighting a losing battle. So, with that I'm extremely grateful that I'm in school because I don't know how much longer my agency will be in existance in its current form....ok, enough of the sad stuff.
Words cannot express how excited I am to be going to Hawaii next month!!!! AHHHH!!! While I'm not exactly in beach-body shape (I have lost weight, though), I'm still really thrilled to get some of that Hawaiian sun!!
Besides that, I'm looking forward to attempting to plan a class reunion alongside my best bud :) I can only imagine the work that's ahead of us and I am realistic enough to know that we probably won't agree on everything. But, I know that we'll work everything out and hopefully it'll be a success!! However, I wish that my other homie-til-end could be more involved, but living in Japan might not be very conducive to planning a class reunion in Decatur, AL, lol! Either way, I can't wait!!!!
Ok, that's enough for now...gotta get back to work. Hopefully, I have appeased the masses by gracing cyberspace with my prescence and thoughts...lol
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
East vs. West...The Real Housewives of ATL, NYC, and the OC
So, yesterday, while I was working at home I happened to become absolutely enthralled with the Orange County edition of the The Real Housewives series that appears on Bravo. Yes, I have a new addiction!! How do you know this, you may ask...well, any time I'm willing to devote a complete blog to something, clearly it has to be something that I am passionate about :)
Let me tell you...up until yesterday I mainly watched the Atlanta edition of the series -- however, that completely changed!! Now, I must state that watching the ATL housewives was a guilty pleasure at first mainly because I heard lots of media outlets saying how that cast misrepresented successful Black women (most of the cast member's husbands are atheletes). However, once I saw how many other people were taking part in this guilty pleasure, I decided to make my affinity for the show known as well...I mean, heck, you had Anderson Cooper of CNN talking about how is absolute FAVORITE character on the show was Nene!!! I felt that was the equivalent of getting the Pope's approval...but then again, I'm not Catholic so that probably doesn't count...ANYWHOO, I watched the show and became addicted but I never really thought about watching the other two editions because I just figured that they wouldn't give me the type of drama and mess that "reality tv show lover" within me craved...boy was I wrong!!!
From my perspective both groups (OC and ATL) are just the same. For instance, they both engage in obsessive and almost sickening amounts of spending money. Additionally, there's atleast one person in both groups that is so messy that it makes it almost impossible to not want to anticipate what that woman's next diabolical move is going to be.
I hear that the same holds true for the NYC cast as well! So, I foresee that I'll acquire another addiction. But, hey, a minor addiction to reality tv hasn't ever hurt anyone, right?? I mean, geez, at least it's not internet porn...lol!
Monday, January 5, 2009
An attempt for a a new me for the new year
Whew!!! So it's seriously been a minute since I last posted...At the time of my last post, the country was still engrossed in a hard-fought presidential election, I was still still trying to decide what or if I was going to do anything for Halloween, and precious Reagan wasn't quite 1 year old yet. So, if you get my drift it's been a minute since I've posted and I've gotta to do better!! With that in mind, I decided that I'd turn my short list of things that I'd like to work on for the new year into a blog...however, keep in mind that I'm not referring to the following list as resolutions because that term seems to strenuous and binding -- instead I'd like to think of them as "personal characteristics that I'd like to work on". (lol)
1) Become more punctual...consistently.
For those who know me, I'm usually late. If I say I'll be there in 15 minutes, go ahead and expect that I'll actually be there in 30 :) However, as of late, I've been trying to do better and but I'm not consistent with it.
2) Stop being mean to Brandon.
Brandon's my boyfriend and I love him...honestly, I do. However, I'm mean to him. I tell him that I pick on him because I love him. Such a characteristic possibly makes me a bully and no one likes a bully.
3) Be more "girly".
From Dec. 26-31st, I visited my family in Michigan. My dad's sisters (my aunts) are brutally honest and gave it to me raw. I'm 27 years old and still march around with nothing on my face not even lip gloss and, to them, that's unacceptable. Funny thing is, that was not the 1st time anyone tried to conduct a "makeup intervention" on me...A couple of months ago, my mother gave me 2 bags full of makeup that she wasn't using anymore. I took that as her way of just getting rid of it without throwing it away. While I took the makeup, I tossed it aside because it Fashion Fair makeup and who wears that in 2008??? (well, besides my mom...lol) Anyway, my mother saw me on New Year's day and noticed that I had on eyeshadow and a lip gloss and she was ELATED!! LOL! However, little did she know, that makeup was actually remnants of the makeup that I had on the previous night...I caught a couple zzz's on Trice's couch and hadn't had time to wash my face. Needless to say, since so much people are making a big deal about this whole makeup thing, I might give it a try. Instead of wearing it when I go out on the weekends, I might attempt to at least throw on some lip gloss...notice that I said "might attempt"
4) If people are going to allow themselves to walk into a brick wall, then I'm gonna let 'em.
I'm a social worker and it's my job to protect vulnerable people. However, I sometimes let that aspect of my job fall into a character trait and often try to warn my friends of what I may think are disastrous situations. But, my warnings to them are often unsolicited and therefore don't go over too well. So, for now, if people ask my opinion then I'll glady give it. Otherwise, if I feel that they're going into dangerous territory but they don't ask me for my opinion, then I'll keep my mouth closed; hopefully, they'll avoid that brick wall, but if they run into it head-first then I won't a bit surprised.
5) With #4 in mind...I'm going to stop being a "know-it-all".
After some introspective thinking, I've realized that I will often think that I know more than people do about their own lives. However, that's flawed thinking and I don't have a problem admitting that. I know that just because I'd do something one way, does not mean that someone else will do it the same way...as my dad says, "there's more than one way to skin a cat".
Ok, that's it. Wishing all who read this a happy and prosperous New Year!!!
1) Become more punctual...consistently.
For those who know me, I'm usually late. If I say I'll be there in 15 minutes, go ahead and expect that I'll actually be there in 30 :) However, as of late, I've been trying to do better and but I'm not consistent with it.
2) Stop being mean to Brandon.
Brandon's my boyfriend and I love him...honestly, I do. However, I'm mean to him. I tell him that I pick on him because I love him. Such a characteristic possibly makes me a bully and no one likes a bully.
3) Be more "girly".
From Dec. 26-31st, I visited my family in Michigan. My dad's sisters (my aunts) are brutally honest and gave it to me raw. I'm 27 years old and still march around with nothing on my face not even lip gloss and, to them, that's unacceptable. Funny thing is, that was not the 1st time anyone tried to conduct a "makeup intervention" on me...A couple of months ago, my mother gave me 2 bags full of makeup that she wasn't using anymore. I took that as her way of just getting rid of it without throwing it away. While I took the makeup, I tossed it aside because it Fashion Fair makeup and who wears that in 2008??? (well, besides my mom...lol) Anyway, my mother saw me on New Year's day and noticed that I had on eyeshadow and a lip gloss and she was ELATED!! LOL! However, little did she know, that makeup was actually remnants of the makeup that I had on the previous night...I caught a couple zzz's on Trice's couch and hadn't had time to wash my face. Needless to say, since so much people are making a big deal about this whole makeup thing, I might give it a try. Instead of wearing it when I go out on the weekends, I might attempt to at least throw on some lip gloss...notice that I said "might attempt"
4) If people are going to allow themselves to walk into a brick wall, then I'm gonna let 'em.
I'm a social worker and it's my job to protect vulnerable people. However, I sometimes let that aspect of my job fall into a character trait and often try to warn my friends of what I may think are disastrous situations. But, my warnings to them are often unsolicited and therefore don't go over too well. So, for now, if people ask my opinion then I'll glady give it. Otherwise, if I feel that they're going into dangerous territory but they don't ask me for my opinion, then I'll keep my mouth closed; hopefully, they'll avoid that brick wall, but if they run into it head-first then I won't a bit surprised.
5) With #4 in mind...I'm going to stop being a "know-it-all".
After some introspective thinking, I've realized that I will often think that I know more than people do about their own lives. However, that's flawed thinking and I don't have a problem admitting that. I know that just because I'd do something one way, does not mean that someone else will do it the same way...as my dad says, "there's more than one way to skin a cat".
Ok, that's it. Wishing all who read this a happy and prosperous New Year!!!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
My lesson for today
I started this day in somewhat of a funk...without being too specific, I saw a friend do something that was somewhat disturbing -- especially given that she isn't just knocking at 30's door, but she has one hand on the knob about ready to walk in the darn door.!! Anywhoo, this friend and I have been friends for a while. We have lots of good times but also some times where we have "fallen out". Either way, I can say that there are no hard feelings toward her; but I sometimes take concern with the fact that some of the things she does almost seems as if we're still our early 20's rather than our mid to late 20's.
I felt like I wanted to say something to her, but I also knew that it really wasn't my place. So, I instead called another friend and vented my frustrations. My friend calmy asked me why was I surprised... I then told her that I honestly thought that this person would've matured by now and how I just couldn't understand it why she was still doing crap as if she was only 21!!!
Well, right after the conversation between my friend and I, I opened up an email that another friend sent. It was a daily devotional that talked about how two men were walking down the street talking. However, the men were so busy bumping their gums to realize that Jesus was also walking with them!!
Now from the outside looking in, one would probably say with confidence and their chest poked out "I would've known Jesus if he was walking with me!!!" But, would you really??? For me personally, I can't think of how many times I've gotten myself so worked up over trivial things that the things that are most important often get neglected!
Needless to say, I'm thankful for my lesson for the day because it served as a glaring reminder that I've got to do better...while I was busy thinking about how silly, messy, inmature this person was, I could've or SHOULD'VE been busying myself with was can be done in my OWN life. Either way, I don't know if this thought helped anyone but it definitely helped me! Happy Wednesday :)
I felt like I wanted to say something to her, but I also knew that it really wasn't my place. So, I instead called another friend and vented my frustrations. My friend calmy asked me why was I surprised... I then told her that I honestly thought that this person would've matured by now and how I just couldn't understand it why she was still doing crap as if she was only 21!!!
Well, right after the conversation between my friend and I, I opened up an email that another friend sent. It was a daily devotional that talked about how two men were walking down the street talking. However, the men were so busy bumping their gums to realize that Jesus was also walking with them!!
Now from the outside looking in, one would probably say with confidence and their chest poked out "I would've known Jesus if he was walking with me!!!" But, would you really??? For me personally, I can't think of how many times I've gotten myself so worked up over trivial things that the things that are most important often get neglected!
Needless to say, I'm thankful for my lesson for the day because it served as a glaring reminder that I've got to do better...while I was busy thinking about how silly, messy, inmature this person was, I could've or SHOULD'VE been busying myself with was can be done in my OWN life. Either way, I don't know if this thought helped anyone but it definitely helped me! Happy Wednesday :)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
New Kids on the Block - Single Ft. Ne-Yo
Has anyone heard this song??? OMG...I freakin love it!!!!! I almost feel like it's '89 and I'm rocking to "Hanging Tough" or "Step by Step" in my stone-washed jacket!!! HA! Watch and enjoy :)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Why Wednesday
Haven't blogged in a while and I got the "Why Wednesday" inspiration from Trice (who originally stole it from another blogger, lol)...1) Why am I really thinking about not watching the last presidential debate??? ((((GASP!!!))))) I can't explain the feeling besides the fact that I found myself screaming about the tv so much on the last one that I might need to refrain from putting myself under undue stress...plus I'm very doubtful that they'll talk about anything new that hasn't already been rehashed over a thousand times already?
2) Speaking of the debate...why do I get the feeling that SOME people (I'm not going to be specific) are actually scared of the idea of Sen. Obama becoming president??? I seriously have my own ideas on that one and could go on for days but I'm not gonna elaborate on that one, just throwing it out there... but please notice the pic that I have posted above
3) Why is that some people just don't get it when it's CLEARLY obvious that you do not want to be bothered at that time...almost nothing burns me up more than someone attempting to talk to me when I'm not in the mood...oh, but do not let the convo consist of meaningless banter...that's definitely a recipe for disaster!!!
4) Why have I NOT gotten past phase ONE of the South Beach Diet but have managed to lose 10 lbs? Great diet that fits well into my lifestyle EXCEPT for the fact that you cannot drink alcohol for 2 weeks??? (BTW, I'm not a lush; just prefer an occassional cocktail every now and then...lol)
4) Speaking of health...Why do people wait until their health is seriously on the verge of breaking them down before they actually do something??? I'm somewhat guilty of this, but I've also seen people literally heading into a brick wall (when their health is involved) and will still act of as nothing is wrong!!!
5) Why am soooo excited about the Magic City Classic??? My friends and I have been carefully all the details of the weekend -- from the events that we plan to attend to the outfits...Did I mention that I have every intention to wear my newly acquired Alabama A&M Bulldog t-shirt to tailgate (the best part of the whole affair) and I'm sooo excited to participate in this year's events as a "tuition-paying, book-tooting, student fee-having" student (and future alum) of ALABAMA A&M?!?!?!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Loose lips with lipstick sinks ships....Go Obama!
I saw this on one of my favorite blogs and could not resist posting it in the aftermath of all the lipstick hoopla... Forgive me for being such a cynical political observer, but don't you just love the way Bush has just prettied up the pigs of the domestic budget and the military budget? :) By the way, if you haven't read my previous post (well actually it's a rant), read it, pontificate on it, and comment! Happy Thursday!!Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Don't mind me as I get on my soapbox...
1) So, anyone who knows me can verify that I am a Facebook junkie. I know it's shameful to admit; but, hey, I've been told that the first step is admitting you have a problem. Anywhoo...while partaking in my shameful joy, I ran across the status of one of my Facebook "friends" (and I use the term lightly). She stated that she thinks that Obama is a disgrace to our country. At first glance, I laughed and then became somewhat distrubed. After visilating between whether to respond to her comment or not, I decided to take the former. I began to tell her that I'd like to "respectfully disagree" with her because many other people (i.e. pedophile, rapists, murders, etc.) could be rightfully be considered as a disgrace and that Obama could not even remotely be considered a disgrace.
I don't understand why people have to associate the fact that if someone differs with your political position then that person automatically qualifies as a person who should be loathed. PEOPLE, THIS IS JUST POLITICS!!!!!! Get over it and get over yourselves!!!
2) People who get themselves caught up with the media hype that surrounds a political campaign bother me...seriously. I can't tell you how it sickens me that as soon as the media hype surrounds a candidate, then people flock to that person in droves... they did it with Obama and now they're doing it with McCain/Palin. People wake up...explore the issues!!!!!! Don't support a candidate just because they're getting the most sound bites on the news.
3) If I get one more email that talks about how Obama/Biden have this campaign "in the bag" I will throw up. I watched the Republican National Convention and immediately saw that Palin was going to be a formidable obstacle for Obama. I get sick of people playing that woman short. They didn't call her Sarah Baracuda for nothing...
4) If I see/hear of one more rapper who mentions Obama within a rap that also includes the words "bitch, hoe, and/or nigga" I might just scream!!! I don't think these fools understand that Obama's campaign is not some "dog and pony show" and that people like Bill O'Reilly LOVE it pounce on music like that and spread around to the rest of their right-wing cronies. This is not the Jessie Jackson presidential campaign of '88...unlike Jessie, Barack might actually have a chance to win!!!!! Geez!
I don't understand why people have to associate the fact that if someone differs with your political position then that person automatically qualifies as a person who should be loathed. PEOPLE, THIS IS JUST POLITICS!!!!!! Get over it and get over yourselves!!!
2) People who get themselves caught up with the media hype that surrounds a political campaign bother me...seriously. I can't tell you how it sickens me that as soon as the media hype surrounds a candidate, then people flock to that person in droves... they did it with Obama and now they're doing it with McCain/Palin. People wake up...explore the issues!!!!!! Don't support a candidate just because they're getting the most sound bites on the news.
3) If I get one more email that talks about how Obama/Biden have this campaign "in the bag" I will throw up. I watched the Republican National Convention and immediately saw that Palin was going to be a formidable obstacle for Obama. I get sick of people playing that woman short. They didn't call her Sarah Baracuda for nothing...
4) If I see/hear of one more rapper who mentions Obama within a rap that also includes the words "bitch, hoe, and/or nigga" I might just scream!!! I don't think these fools understand that Obama's campaign is not some "dog and pony show" and that people like Bill O'Reilly LOVE it pounce on music like that and spread around to the rest of their right-wing cronies. This is not the Jessie Jackson presidential campaign of '88...unlike Jessie, Barack might actually have a chance to win!!!!! Geez!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Faithfulness...food for thought
I was just reading one of my favorite blogs, "Ross Oscar Knight Photography", and became truly inspired. While I don't know this man personally, his words really spoke to me...
Within his most current blog entry, he discussed how he had been in deep thought about his life, future, etc. However, one thing caught me...he was talking about he and his wife were looking to purchase another home. Long story short, they apparently decided that, for now, they were content with their current home and as long as they stayed faithful to what they already had, then their dreams would be rewarded tremendously...wow...so true.
I think about my life and as well as my closet friends and think about how we get so caught up (almost consumed) into chasing something (whether it's a tangible thing such as material things or simply an idea or feeling such as love) that we lose sight of everything else....
While I believe that God takes care of everyone, I also sincerely believe that he waits to see how or what we do with what we have before he rewards with many of the blessings that we receive... So while I'm sitting up wishing that I had a new Ipod, maybe I should not only be thinking about what I'm doing with my current one but also what are my reasons for even wanting a new one especially if my current one serves me just fine... On the same token, instead of trying to figure out how or when I'll get married, maybe I should just assess what I'm doing with my current relationship and wait on God to do what He has and will always do best...and that's take care of me :)
Within his most current blog entry, he discussed how he had been in deep thought about his life, future, etc. However, one thing caught me...he was talking about he and his wife were looking to purchase another home. Long story short, they apparently decided that, for now, they were content with their current home and as long as they stayed faithful to what they already had, then their dreams would be rewarded tremendously...wow...so true.
I think about my life and as well as my closet friends and think about how we get so caught up (almost consumed) into chasing something (whether it's a tangible thing such as material things or simply an idea or feeling such as love) that we lose sight of everything else....
While I believe that God takes care of everyone, I also sincerely believe that he waits to see how or what we do with what we have before he rewards with many of the blessings that we receive... So while I'm sitting up wishing that I had a new Ipod, maybe I should not only be thinking about what I'm doing with my current one but also what are my reasons for even wanting a new one especially if my current one serves me just fine... On the same token, instead of trying to figure out how or when I'll get married, maybe I should just assess what I'm doing with my current relationship and wait on God to do what He has and will always do best...and that's take care of me :)
Monday, September 1, 2008
Deadly Sin Secrets
Found this on Trice's blog and thought I'd pontificate on it as well :-)...
1. LUST: Besides your current Significant Other who do you lust for or have you lusted for? Blair Underwood...saw him on a commercial for a new show and was seriously taken aback about how good he looks even though he can probably join the AARP
2. GLUTTONY: What food brings out your inner glutton?
A good Sunday brunch is sure to make me repent, and don't get it twisted I'm not talking about the brunch at your neighborhood Barnhill's either. I'm referring to the restaurants that either have smooth jazz playing or a pianist in the lobby...I seriously think that's what dreams are made of...omelettes, champagne, great music :)
3. GREED: What are you greedy for?
see previous answer, I feel that this is also very applicable to this deadly sin as well; however, on a serious note, I'm greedy for my Master's and Doctoral degree...
4. SLOTH: What is your plan for an ideal day of sloth?
Nothing spectacular...just kicking back on the couch watching meaningless shows on VH1 or MTV (i.e. The Hills, I Want to Work for Diddy, Luke's Parental Advisory)
5. WRATH: Describe a time that you let out a can of whoop ass on someone.
Lol....I've gotten better MUCH better about this one. These days, I just take a deep breath, smile, and then TACTFULLY let that person know what the deal is without losing my cool, but also letting them know what I will and will not stand for...my motto: There's a way to say EVERYTHING :)
6. ENVY: Who or what do you envy? Why?
No one really because everyone has issues...why would I trade my life's issues for someone else's crap?!
7. PRIDE: Have you ever had to swallow your pride? What are you proud of?
I'm a very proud person and absolutely loathe asking anyone for help, however, there have been times where I've had to let go of my pride and accept the assistance that was given...for instance, my dad was recently in the hospital for a while and people would constantly ask how he was doing and I'd reply with a smile "he's fine, thanks for asking"...while that certainly was not the case, I just did not want to go the thru all the details. Anywhoo, it came a time while I was in my office at work I just felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and I broke down. Throughout my dad's stinct at the hospital, my co-workers knew that something was wrong, but because I wouldn't share what was going on until I couldn't bear it any longer. I'm thankful to know that my co-workers sent up prayers along with my dad's numerous church members, family, and friends which eventually helped him to recover.
Anyway, if you're reading this this...TAG you're it :-)
1. LUST: Besides your current Significant Other who do you lust for or have you lusted for? Blair Underwood...saw him on a commercial for a new show and was seriously taken aback about how good he looks even though he can probably join the AARP
2. GLUTTONY: What food brings out your inner glutton?
A good Sunday brunch is sure to make me repent, and don't get it twisted I'm not talking about the brunch at your neighborhood Barnhill's either. I'm referring to the restaurants that either have smooth jazz playing or a pianist in the lobby...I seriously think that's what dreams are made of...omelettes, champagne, great music :)
3. GREED: What are you greedy for?
see previous answer, I feel that this is also very applicable to this deadly sin as well; however, on a serious note, I'm greedy for my Master's and Doctoral degree...
4. SLOTH: What is your plan for an ideal day of sloth?
Nothing spectacular...just kicking back on the couch watching meaningless shows on VH1 or MTV (i.e. The Hills, I Want to Work for Diddy, Luke's Parental Advisory)
5. WRATH: Describe a time that you let out a can of whoop ass on someone.
Lol....I've gotten better MUCH better about this one. These days, I just take a deep breath, smile, and then TACTFULLY let that person know what the deal is without losing my cool, but also letting them know what I will and will not stand for...my motto: There's a way to say EVERYTHING :)
6. ENVY: Who or what do you envy? Why?
No one really because everyone has issues...why would I trade my life's issues for someone else's crap?!
7. PRIDE: Have you ever had to swallow your pride? What are you proud of?
I'm a very proud person and absolutely loathe asking anyone for help, however, there have been times where I've had to let go of my pride and accept the assistance that was given...for instance, my dad was recently in the hospital for a while and people would constantly ask how he was doing and I'd reply with a smile "he's fine, thanks for asking"...while that certainly was not the case, I just did not want to go the thru all the details. Anywhoo, it came a time while I was in my office at work I just felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and I broke down. Throughout my dad's stinct at the hospital, my co-workers knew that something was wrong, but because I wouldn't share what was going on until I couldn't bear it any longer. I'm thankful to know that my co-workers sent up prayers along with my dad's numerous church members, family, and friends which eventually helped him to recover.
Anyway, if you're reading this this...TAG you're it :-)
Monday, August 18, 2008
Blogger Mishap
I don't know if anyone happened to notice before I corrected it, but Blogger posted a blog of mine that I had written almost 2 weeks ago 3x's!!!! When I initially tried to post couple a weeks ago, it would not let me do it and I thought that my feelings about the Vibrating Touch would never be heard...or so I thought.
Keep in mind that I was extremely heated to see how Blogger was not cooperating at the time of my initial posting, however I am glad to know that my post had not been lost within the wide world of cyberspace. Anywhoo, so just to clear up any misunderstanding for those one to two people who read my blog on a regular basis (you know who you are, lol), while I felt very passionate about my distaste for the Vibrating Touch commercial, it was not my intent to have the very same post appear on my blog three times. Thank you...now you may return to your regularly scheduled programming. Happy Monday :)
Keep in mind that I was extremely heated to see how Blogger was not cooperating at the time of my initial posting, however I am glad to know that my post had not been lost within the wide world of cyberspace. Anywhoo, so just to clear up any misunderstanding for those one to two people who read my blog on a regular basis (you know who you are, lol), while I felt very passionate about my distaste for the Vibrating Touch commercial, it was not my intent to have the very same post appear on my blog three times. Thank you...now you may return to your regularly scheduled programming. Happy Monday :)
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