A Perfect Imperfection

When memories come alive

2009-08-21T23:43:00.000-07:00

It's late and I should probably be asleep, but I can't. As of late, I find my mind wondering to various things, however it usually settles on my brothers. I don't talk about them often, however, their death still affects me -- even 20 years later. As a social worker who aspires to practice in the field of mental health, I have glaring reminders that I should probably talk to someone about my thoughts. However, there's a part of me that wants to keep thoughts because that's really all that I have of them.

I find myself wondering what it life would have been like had they not died 8 months apart when I was 7. My thoughts wander to places that allow me to imagine how it would've felt to have had an older brother who wasn't stricken with cerebral palsy. Or even what it would've been like to have had a younger brother who lived much longer than just a day. Would they have protected me? Would they have harrassed me and teased me for being the only girl?? At the same time, I think about how my life would've been had my older brother lived longer than the 17 years he was alotted...I was 7, he was 17...we were 10 years apart...both born on the 31st of our respective birth months. I often think had he lived, I would not have hesistated to have taken care of him when my parents no longer could. But, that's not my reality.

I sometimes think about how my oldest and youngest brother died and left me (the middle one) here -- almost as if I'm the last one standing. I often think about that fact and motivate myself because it's almost as if I've got to accomplish things for myself but also in memory of my brothers. But, honestly, how healthy is that???

I don't know...as with most of my posts, this is another random stream of thought. Either way, for those who may read my blog on occassion, please don't become alarmed. I'm not suicidal (lol), just highly introspective...so please forgive me for hosting my own therapy session via my personal blog :)

Random blog thoughts for the hell of it...

2009-08-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

1) Glad to be out of school and done with my internship (for a week, lol). I love grad school but it's definitely been a trying time -- especially when I had to quit my job. Nonetheless, I'm thinking long term and my last job DEFINITELY was not a long term position!! So, for now I'll just concentrate on my last 2 semesters and continue to think about/plan my graduation party...and whether it'll be cool to have a couple adult beverages at said party with my grandmother in attendance, lol.

2) Speaking of grad school...when it's over, I'd really like to start working and eventually obtain my license. HOWEVER, I'd also really like to pursue a PhD in Social Work so that I can teach as well as conduct research -- possibly in the area of community mental health and the prison system. Clark Atlanta has a wonderful program and I would love to go, but I'm still kinda of scared about severing the apron strings and moving to Atlanta (if I get accepted)... Yes, I'm 28...however, I'm somewhat apprehensive about leaving Alabama!! Seriously, I can think of a million reasons why I wouldn't want to move out of AL, but I bet I come up with at least 2 million reasons why I should be on the first thing smoking out of here...so, I digress...

3) My class reunion is in 2 weeks and I'm sooo excited!! I haven't bought my ticket yet due to financial constraints, but nonetheless I will be there!! Still haven't figured out what I'm gonna wear to the banquet, let me tell you that's not deterring me at all. Many of my classmates are on Facebook, however, I'd like to see them in person.

4) Last random thought of the day...you ever felt like you wanted to do something to save the world, but just didn't quite know where to start?? That's how I feel on a constant basis...maybe my time off will allow me to hone my thoughts.

I remember when...

2009-06-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

My dad has always been a great influence in many aspects of my life. For instance, my dad has always been a great fan of music and he, in turn, made me one as well. On one particular night, I remember, as a young girl waiting up for him as I normally did to get off of his 2nd shift job at the local General Motors plant in Decatur, AL. I greeted him with a huge smile as he did me...we went through our normal father/daughter exchange in which both of us asked the other how their respective day went. However, on this particular night, I distinctly recall my dad telling me how he picked up a new cassette tape (lol)... I became excited and asked who it was. The tape that he presented to me left an indeliable mark on me -- it was Michael Jackson's "Bad" LP. I remember my dad asking me if I knew who he was and I said, "of course!!" After all, I was a huge fan of MTV and he was constantly plastered on that channel despite the darker hue of his skin. I remember Daddy putting the tape into the tape player in my room and listening to the first few notes of the intro to the title track of the "Bad" album. I remember being instantly hooked...I looked at my dad and he looked at me. We bobbed our heads and listened to a few more of the tracks. Prior to that shared moment, I remember Michael as being the guy who walked on the squares that lit up in the "Billie Jean" video. Prior to that moment, I remember everyone being transfixed in my household while we watch the Motown 25th Anniversary special where Michael introduced the infamous "moonwalk". I also remember being slightly scared at watching the "Thriller" video or wondering if I was ever gonna get into a fight in the street like he did in the "Beat It" video. But, on the night that my dad brought the "Bad" tape into my room, I remember becoming a lifelong fan....I didn't miss a tape/cd of his...everything from "Dangerous", to "HIStory" (which I rushed from freshman band camp to get and spent my LAST $25 on it because it was a double disc and those weren't popular during that time...nonetheless a good investment in my opinion), and "Invincible" ("Butterflies" was my isht during college). Either way, regardless of the memory or the album/new music that he came up with, nothing besides that time where I became a bonified MJ fan will compare to the time when I heard that he died. I thought it was a terrible rumor and even thought it was a hoax. But, I have now accepted that he's no longer here...so now, I will just remember him...

Why I Love/Hate HBCUs

2009-06-16T21:53:00.001-07:00

As everyone knows by now, I attend Alabama A&M. By growing up in North Alabama, I always saw the frequent headlines about A&M and its problems that often ranged from getting a new president or uncovering that yet another person had been stealing from the University. As the time approached for me to make a decision about where I wanted to go to college, I knew that A&M was not an option...not so much because I didn't want to go to a "Historically Black" institution, but because I didn't want to attend school so close to home...(actually, I wanted to follow Patrice to Alabama State University, but that's a whole 'nother story). Either way, I ended up at UAB and I did my five years (lol) and definitely had my fun while there. However, I still had a longing to attend an HBCU, so when it came time to prepare to receive a Master's degree, I gave A&M another look.

While there, I have had the wonderful experience of learning for acclaimed academians and practitioners. I actually feel as my professors are all the very interested in my well-being as well as my future -- and that's something that I didn't experience while at UAB. However, with all of these positives of attending an HBCU, there is an EXTREME downside to it....THEIR ADMINISTRATIVE DEPARTMENTS SUCK!!!!

OMG! Right about now, if I could ride up to Normal, Alabama and go on the Hill I might just strangle someone at the business office!! I've been waiting on my refund from my financial aid for TWO WEEKS and although I call and am consistently polite to everyone with whom I speak, they still manage to give me the run-around!!! Ugh! I honestly don't understand it! How is that I never EVER encountered these problems in all of my years at UAB. Yet, without fail, my financial aid refund disbursement process is always like pulling teeth!!! It might not be such a big deal, but I'm not working and that financial aid is my ONLY source of money at this time...I try not to be a whiner, but GEEZ!!

Seriously, no one understands how I cannot wait until May 2010!

A New Start...a quick blog

2009-05-29T07:39:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day at work. I'm leaving so that I can be begin my internship at a local mental hospital. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about everything, honestly. On one hand, I'm sad to leave the people as well as the freedom to go and do almost anything I pleased (just as long as my work was completed). But, at the same time, I'm happy (well maybe elated) to not only move to the next level in my career/education, but I'll get to leave the ignorance that often permeates the four walls of this building which often makes it hard to function. (sidebar: 2 of co-workers/girlfriends and I often refer to our job as Sesame Street)...

Dedicated to Tericka...where's my access?!?!

2009-04-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

So, clearly I'm not one of the popular bloggers in cyberspace. However, I do know that I have a few faithful readers...one of them being, Tericka. However, when I attempt to read her blog, it's blocked. THEN, I saw where she posted a comment on one of my recent blog entries that stated I had access to her blog but when I clicked on her blog, there was no access granted...AGAIN

So, as I fall to ground in despair with my hand on my forehead and wonder to myself, "alas, what shall I do?", I'll hope that this is a screaming notice to Tericka that I don't have access to her blog. "Where art thou blog", I ask thee in my best medieval English voice.....sigh

Mixed Feelings About a Mixture of Things

2009-04-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

1) School's almost out for the semester and I am glad. However, I'd be lying if I weren't truthful in saying that I haven't been the best student. I'd like to finish with a strong finish; however, I'm so far behind that I don't even know where I'd even begin that strong finish...sigh

2) Speaking of strong finishes, I'm supposed to begin an internship for my degree. I'm excited but also apprehensive because it will more than likely require me to quit my job. While things haven't been exactly smooth at my job, I still had job security and a decent but very small paycheck coming in every other week. While at the interview for my internship, I was offered a part-time position so I'll have some money coming in; but, I'm sure it won't be what I was getting. Either way, I'm hopeful and optimistic because God will provide...He always does ;-) Nonetheless, my job requires a 30 day notice and within those 30 days, one is required to make sure that all their files are "up to par"...please sigh with me once more...thanks

3) I should be jetting off to Hawaii in about 3 weeks. While I'm suuuuper excited, I'm apprehensive as well. As the maid of honor, I've been given the duty to make one of two speeches about my dear friend. I'm really excited about this, but I fear that I might get up there and start rambling...However, my biggest prayer that I don't ramble so much that I start to bring up her old boyfriends or another equally embarrassing subject! Lol! I realize that I need to focus my thoughts by writing my speech, but there's so much that I could say about her...just like with all my dear, true friends, I love them bunches :)

4) Within the same vein of my previous thought, my bestie is moving. I'm sad to see her and Miss R leave, but I know it's for the best. I know she'll do well; she always does. It's just a little bittersweet because rather than just merely stopping by to see her on my way back from school or from seeing my parents, I'll have to get a plane ticket and/or a rental car. However, I'm all about growth especially in the Spring...so it's her season and I must accept that and watch her grow

5) Lastly, I don't know if I've mentioned this on my blog but Brandon and I parted ways. With this break-up, I feel very liberated. However, I also feel that I'm not careful, I could end up in a situation that I'm not ready for...more specifically, I been meeting lots of nice guys...some more enchanting than others, lol. Nonetheless, I know that I am what some would call "serial monogomist" (sp?)...I love to have a boyfriend. So it's almost natural for me to feel myself getting attached to people way too quickly; but I realize that is a habit that I MUST break. So, I've been dating different guys and it seems to be working well so far...But, I'd be lying if I didn't see myself getting attached. So rather than repeating my past, I often take self-imposed sabaticals from certain people. The only thing about that is that people don't always understand those sabaticals....I find myself wanting to tell those people," dude, no it doesn't have anything to do with you" or "we're not in a relationship, can you please let me breathe???"...geez! There's much talk about how women are so overly-emotionally and sensitive; however, some men fit in that same category...

Anyway, have a happy and blessed Monday all!!

Random Thoughts for a Mundane Monday....

2009-03-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty decent weekend, nothing extremely pressing to complain about...HOWEVER, I did notice a couple of things that I wanted to vent about!!

1) Why do the majority of the size 12-14 swimsuits look so old and matronly?!?! OMG! I really thought I could spend a little time yesterday and pick up a couple of swimsuits for my upcoming trip to Hawaii, but that task is proving to be a little more difficult than I ever imagined! Almost every swimsuit that I came across, had a ridiculous floral print (gag me!!) ALONG with some type of sash, tie, or other unnecessary ornamentation.

Seriously...just because I'm not a size 8 means that I'm out of the running for a halfway decent swimsuit?!?! Wrong!!! While I acknowledge that I am overweight, it should not deem that I can't find a nice swimsuit without breaking the bank! I could (and have) hopped on the 'net to try to find a nice swimsuit that is befitting a woman of my size, however, the really cute ones were $100+. No ma'am/sir...it's not that serious...I don't go swimming enough to spend that type of money. However, if we were discussing a handbag, that might be a different thing :-)

2) Why are so many people trying to use lawsuits to get ahead?!?! I mean, seriously, I ran into/overheard at least 3 people over the past weekend talking about how they couldn't wait for their lawsuit to come in! WTF??? I know the world is pretty screwed up but it was still somewhat bothersome that it seemed as if so many people were waiting for their "ship to come in". Within the people that I ran into who discussed their pending lawsuit, one thing seemed to be common among them; from appearances, they didn't necessarily seem as if they were on the upper echelon of economic well-being in the first place. So, with that being said, I know that being poor or impoverished brings on a certain amount of despair and hopelessness. However, I would honestly hope that within that hopelessness there's a certain amount of ambition to want to see oneself do better rather than just wait for some money to come in -- because 9 times out of 10, even that lawsuit money won't last long...just look at how many past lottery winners are now broke.

Anywhoo, that's my rant for the day. If anyone is still reading this blog, I sincerely hope that you'll have a wonderfully blessed week...but if you're not, then make it your business to do so. This is Spring and it is the time for renewal. Remember: "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." --Isaiah 40:31

Chris Brown and Rihanna...can't they just live their lives???

2009-03-05T11:23:00.000-08:00

So, the radios, internet, tv, etc have been totally saturated with the latest editions to the Chris Brown/Rihanna saga. My question is..."am I the only who thinks that these people should be left alone???" Seriously. Yes, it was wrong for C.B. to beat up Rihanna like that...and even then, I am basing my assumption on the picture that was leaked by the police department. However, I find fault in the way that C.B. has been attacked. I'm not saying that he was not wrong, but at the same time, he's innocent until proven guilty....

I just find it extremely sickening how people just have this fascination with what's going on in Chris and Rihanna's lives...I mean, don't people have bigger fish to fry?!?! After all, we ARE in a recession!!! People are losing jobs left and right, along with losing their houses, and their retirement funds/pensions!! However, people would prefer to stay glued to the tv to get the latest about what's going on with ol Chris and RiRi!!

I mean, I would be okay if I could easily turn on CNN or Headline News to see the least developments on President Obama's administration or how Rush Limbaugh continues to make himself look like a racist prick...however, I have a SERIOUS problem when those aforementioned channels are known for respectable new coverage are not filling their time and their news tickers with the most recent developments regarding Chris Brown!!!! Ugh!!! Who cares if he gets counseling with his pastor!!! I wish him well, but that does not affect my life. Who cares if his childhood consisted of his parents being violent toward each other!!! Yeah, that's really sad and unfortunate; I hope the counseling helps but that still doesn't affect my life. Who cares if Chris and Rihanna decided to reconcile!!! If that's what they want to do, I wish them all the luck in the world; but, again, THAT DOES NOT AFFECT MY LIFE!!!!

I guess, in the end, what I'm trying to say is that people should be able to live their lives however those choose as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. Chris and Rihanna getting into an altercation will not help me pay my bills nor will it ensure that I do well in school. I understand that the lives of celebrities are often fascinating to look at. However, is there ever a point in time when we just say "enough is enough"???

For Patrice and Kendie :)

2009-03-02T09:54:00.000-08:00

So...within the past two days, I have gotten requests for the aforementioned ladies to update my blog. No, scratch that...it wasn't a request; it was more like, a demand. Lol! Anywhoo...I guess I've kinda of developed a blog phobia. Maybe phobia is a strong word, but the feeling is more a less the kind where one side of your mind tells me, "you should update your blog"...meanwhile, the other side says, "you seriously don't have time". Nonetheless, I've decided to get over my blog fear, phobia, etc and appease my loving friends :)

School and work have seriously gotten me bogged down; but, I can handle it. I can't figure out which one is more stressful, but I think that work is close to winning that award. Ugh. The agency that I work for is going through quite a bit of turmoil, so there are constant changes in the midst of people trying to maintain their cool when you can tell that they're one step away from losing it. The economy has seriously affected us because there is not any funding being contributed to the people that we serve. However, in that lack of funding, there are also forces who seem to want to see our agency fail...I'm not going to get specific because I don't know who is lurking around. Either way, there has been a strong push for everyone to be on their "p's and q's" but even in doing so, it almost seems as if we're fighting a losing battle. So, with that I'm extremely grateful that I'm in school because I don't know how much longer my agency will be in existance in its current form....ok, enough of the sad stuff.

Words cannot express how excited I am to be going to Hawaii next month!!!! AHHHH!!! While I'm not exactly in beach-body shape (I have lost weight, though), I'm still really thrilled to get some of that Hawaiian sun!!

Besides that, I'm looking forward to attempting to plan a class reunion alongside my best bud :) I can only imagine the work that's ahead of us and I am realistic enough to know that we probably won't agree on everything. But, I know that we'll work everything out and hopefully it'll be a success!! However, I wish that my other homie-til-end could be more involved, but living in Japan might not be very conducive to planning a class reunion in Decatur, AL, lol! Either way, I can't wait!!!!

Ok, that's enough for now...gotta get back to work. Hopefully, I have appeased the masses by gracing cyberspace with my prescence and thoughts...lol

East vs. West...The Real Housewives of ATL, NYC, and the OC

2009-01-14T13:52:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday, while I was working at home I happened to become absolutely enthralled with the Orange County edition of the The Real Housewives series that appears on Bravo. Yes, I have a new addiction!! How do you know this, you may ask...well, any time I'm willing to devote a complete blog to something, clearly it has to be something that I am passionate about :)

Let me tell you...up until yesterday I mainly watched the Atlanta edition of the series -- however, that completely changed!! Now, I must state that watching the ATL housewives was a guilty pleasure at first mainly because I heard lots of media outlets saying how that cast misrepresented successful Black women (most of the cast member's husbands are atheletes). However, once I saw how many other people were taking part in this guilty pleasure, I decided to make my affinity for the show known as well...I mean, heck, you had Anderson Cooper of CNN talking about how is absolute FAVORITE character on the show was Nene!!! I felt that was the equivalent of getting the Pope's approval...but then again, I'm not Catholic so that probably doesn't count...ANYWHOO, I watched the show and became addicted but I never really thought about watching the other two editions because I just figured that they wouldn't give me the type of drama and mess that "reality tv show lover" within me craved...boy was I wrong!!!

From my perspective both groups (OC and ATL) are just the same. For instance, they both engage in obsessive and almost sickening amounts of spending money. Additionally, there's atleast one person in both groups that is so messy that it makes it almost impossible to not want to anticipate what that woman's next diabolical move is going to be.

I hear that the same holds true for the NYC cast as well! So, I foresee that I'll acquire another addiction. But, hey, a minor addiction to reality tv hasn't ever hurt anyone, right?? I mean, geez, at least it's not internet porn...lol!

An attempt for a a new me for the new year

2009-01-05T08:20:00.000-08:00

Whew!!! So it's seriously been a minute since I last posted...At the time of my last post, the country was still engrossed in a hard-fought presidential election, I was still still trying to decide what or if I was going to do anything for Halloween, and precious Reagan wasn't quite 1 year old yet. So, if you get my drift it's been a minute since I've posted and I've gotta to do better!! With that in mind, I decided that I'd turn my short list of things that I'd like to work on for the new year into a blog...however, keep in mind that I'm not referring to the following list as resolutions because that term seems to strenuous and binding -- instead I'd like to think of them as "personal characteristics that I'd like to work on". (lol)

1) Become more punctual...consistently.
For those who know me, I'm usually late. If I say I'll be there in 15 minutes, go ahead and expect that I'll actually be there in 30 :) However, as of late, I've been trying to do better and but I'm not consistent with it.

2) Stop being mean to Brandon.
Brandon's my boyfriend and I love him...honestly, I do. However, I'm mean to him. I tell him that I pick on him because I love him. Such a characteristic possibly makes me a bully and no one likes a bully.

3) Be more "girly".
From Dec. 26-31st, I visited my family in Michigan. My dad's sisters (my aunts) are brutally honest and gave it to me raw. I'm 27 years old and still march around with nothing on my face not even lip gloss and, to them, that's unacceptable. Funny thing is, that was not the 1st time anyone tried to conduct a "makeup intervention" on me...A couple of months ago, my mother gave me 2 bags full of makeup that she wasn't using anymore. I took that as her way of just getting rid of it without throwing it away. While I took the makeup, I tossed it aside because it Fashion Fair makeup and who wears that in 2008??? (well, besides my mom...lol) Anyway, my mother saw me on New Year's day and noticed that I had on eyeshadow and a lip gloss and she was ELATED!! LOL! However, little did she know, that makeup was actually remnants of the makeup that I had on the previous night...I caught a couple zzz's on Trice's couch and hadn't had time to wash my face. Needless to say, since so much people are making a big deal about this whole makeup thing, I might give it a try. Instead of wearing it when I go out on the weekends, I might attempt to at least throw on some lip gloss...notice that I said "might attempt"

4) If people are going to allow themselves to walk into a brick wall, then I'm gonna let 'em.
I'm a social worker and it's my job to protect vulnerable people. However, I sometimes let that aspect of my job fall into a character trait and often try to warn my friends of what I may think are disastrous situations. But, my warnings to them are often unsolicited and therefore don't go over too well. So, for now, if people ask my opinion then I'll glady give it. Otherwise, if I feel that they're going into dangerous territory but they don't ask me for my opinion, then I'll keep my mouth closed; hopefully, they'll avoid that brick wall, but if they run into it head-first then I won't a bit surprised.

5) With #4 in mind...I'm going to stop being a "know-it-all".
After some introspective thinking, I've realized that I will often think that I know more than people do about their own lives. However, that's flawed thinking and I don't have a problem admitting that. I know that just because I'd do something one way, does not mean that someone else will do it the same way...as my dad says, "there's more than one way to skin a cat".

Ok, that's it. Wishing all who read this a happy and prosperous New Year!!!

My lesson for today

2008-10-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

I started this day in somewhat of a funk...without being too specific, I saw a friend do something that was somewhat disturbing -- especially given that she isn't just knocking at 30's door, but she has one hand on the knob about ready to walk in the darn door.!! Anywhoo, this friend and I have been friends for a while. We have lots of good times but also some times where we have "fallen out". Either way, I can say that there are no hard feelings toward her; but I sometimes take concern with the fact that some of the things she does almost seems as if we're still our early 20's rather than our mid to late 20's.

I felt like I wanted to say something to her, but I also knew that it really wasn't my place. So, I instead called another friend and vented my frustrations. My friend calmy asked me why was I surprised... I then told her that I honestly thought that this person would've matured by now and how I just couldn't understand it why she was still doing crap as if she was only 21!!!

Well, right after the conversation between my friend and I, I opened up an email that another friend sent. It was a daily devotional that talked about how two men were walking down the street talking. However, the men were so busy bumping their gums to realize that Jesus was also walking with them!!

Now from the outside looking in, one would probably say with confidence and their chest poked out "I would've known Jesus if he was walking with me!!!" But, would you really??? For me personally, I can't think of how many times I've gotten myself so worked up over trivial things that the things that are most important often get neglected!

Needless to say, I'm thankful for my lesson for the day because it served as a glaring reminder that I've got to do better...while I was busy thinking about how silly, messy, inmature this person was, I could've or SHOULD'VE been busying myself with was can be done in my OWN life. Either way, I don't know if this thought helped anyone but it definitely helped me! Happy Wednesday :)

New Kids on the Block - Single Ft. Ne-Yo

2008-10-19T20:41:00.001-07:00

Has anyone heard this song??? OMG...I freakin love it!!!!! I almost feel like it's '89 and I'm rocking to "Hanging Tough" or "Step by Step" in my stone-washed jacket!!! HA! Watch and enjoy :)

Why Wednesday

2008-10-15T13:54:00.000-07:00

Haven't blogged in a while and I got the "Why Wednesday" inspiration from Trice (who originally stole it from another blogger, lol)...

1) Why am I really thinking about not watching the last presidential debate??? ((((GASP!!!))))) I can't explain the feeling besides the fact that I found myself screaming about the tv so much on the last one that I might need to refrain from putting myself under undue stress...plus I'm very doubtful that they'll talk about anything new that hasn't already been rehashed over a thousand times already?

2) Speaking of the debate...why do I get the feeling that SOME people (I'm not going to be specific) are actually scared of the idea of Sen. Obama becoming president??? I seriously have my own ideas on that one and could go on for days but I'm not gonna elaborate on that one, just throwing it out there... but please notice the pic that I have posted above

3) Why is that some people just don't get it when it's CLEARLY obvious that you do not want to be bothered at that time...almost nothing burns me up more than someone attempting to talk to me when I'm not in the mood...oh, but do not let the convo consist of meaningless banter...that's definitely a recipe for disaster!!!

4) Why have I NOT gotten past phase ONE of the South Beach Diet but have managed to lose 10 lbs? Great diet that fits well into my lifestyle EXCEPT for the fact that you cannot drink alcohol for 2 weeks??? (BTW, I'm not a lush; just prefer an occassional cocktail every now and then...lol)

4) Speaking of health...Why do people wait until their health is seriously on the verge of breaking them down before they actually do something??? I'm somewhat guilty of this, but I've also seen people literally heading into a brick wall (when their health is involved) and will still act of as nothing is wrong!!!

5) Why am soooo excited about the Magic City Classic??? My friends and I have been carefully all the details of the weekend -- from the events that we plan to attend to the outfits...Did I mention that I have every intention to wear my newly acquired Alabama A&M Bulldog t-shirt to tailgate (the best part of the whole affair) and I'm sooo excited to participate in this year's events as a "tuition-paying, book-tooting, student fee-having" student (and future alum) of ALABAMA A&M?!?!?!

Loose lips with lipstick sinks ships....Go Obama!

2008-09-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

I saw this on one of my favorite blogs and could not resist posting it in the aftermath of all the lipstick hoopla... Forgive me for being such a cynical political observer, but don't you just love the way Bush has just prettied up the pigs of the domestic budget and the military budget? :) By the way, if you haven't read my previous post (well actually it's a rant), read it, pontificate on it, and comment! Happy Thursday!!

Don't mind me as I get on my soapbox...

2008-09-10T07:37:00.000-07:00

1) So, anyone who knows me can verify that I am a Facebook junkie. I know it's shameful to admit; but, hey, I've been told that the first step is admitting you have a problem. Anywhoo...while partaking in my shameful joy, I ran across the status of one of my Facebook "friends" (and I use the term lightly). She stated that she thinks that Obama is a disgrace to our country. At first glance, I laughed and then became somewhat distrubed. After visilating between whether to respond to her comment or not, I decided to take the former. I began to tell her that I'd like to "respectfully disagree" with her because many other people (i.e. pedophile, rapists, murders, etc.) could be rightfully be considered as a disgrace and that Obama could not even remotely be considered a disgrace.

I don't understand why people have to associate the fact that if someone differs with your political position then that person automatically qualifies as a person who should be loathed. PEOPLE, THIS IS JUST POLITICS!!!!!! Get over it and get over yourselves!!!

2) People who get themselves caught up with the media hype that surrounds a political campaign bother me...seriously. I can't tell you how it sickens me that as soon as the media hype surrounds a candidate, then people flock to that person in droves... they did it with Obama and now they're doing it with McCain/Palin. People wake up...explore the issues!!!!!! Don't support a candidate just because they're getting the most sound bites on the news.

3) If I get one more email that talks about how Obama/Biden have this campaign "in the bag" I will throw up. I watched the Republican National Convention and immediately saw that Palin was going to be a formidable obstacle for Obama. I get sick of people playing that woman short. They didn't call her Sarah Baracuda for nothing...

4) If I see/hear of one more rapper who mentions Obama within a rap that also includes the words "bitch, hoe, and/or nigga" I might just scream!!! I don't think these fools understand that Obama's campaign is not some "dog and pony show" and that people like Bill O'Reilly LOVE it pounce on music like that and spread around to the rest of their right-wing cronies. This is not the Jessie Jackson presidential campaign of '88...unlike Jessie, Barack might actually have a chance to win!!!!! Geez!

Faithfulness...food for thought

2008-09-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

I was just reading one of my favorite blogs, "Ross Oscar Knight Photography", and became truly inspired. While I don't know this man personally, his words really spoke to me...

Within his most current blog entry, he discussed how he had been in deep thought about his life, future, etc. However, one thing caught me...he was talking about he and his wife were looking to purchase another home. Long story short, they apparently decided that, for now, they were content with their current home and as long as they stayed faithful to what they already had, then their dreams would be rewarded tremendously...wow...so true.

I think about my life and as well as my closet friends and think about how we get so caught up (almost consumed) into chasing something (whether it's a tangible thing such as material things or simply an idea or feeling such as love) that we lose sight of everything else....

While I believe that God takes care of everyone, I also sincerely believe that he waits to see how or what we do with what we have before he rewards with many of the blessings that we receive... So while I'm sitting up wishing that I had a new Ipod, maybe I should not only be thinking about what I'm doing with my current one but also what are my reasons for even wanting a new one especially if my current one serves me just fine... On the same token, instead of trying to figure out how or when I'll get married, maybe I should just assess what I'm doing with my current relationship and wait on God to do what He has and will always do best...and that's take care of me :)

Deadly Sin Secrets

2008-09-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

Found this on Trice's blog and thought I'd pontificate on it as well :-)...

1. LUST: Besides your current Significant Other who do you lust for or have you lusted for? Blair Underwood...saw him on a commercial for a new show and was seriously taken aback about how good he looks even though he can probably join the AARP
2. GLUTTONY: What food brings out your inner glutton?
A good Sunday brunch is sure to make me repent, and don't get it twisted I'm not talking about the brunch at your neighborhood Barnhill's either. I'm referring to the restaurants that either have smooth jazz playing or a pianist in the lobby...I seriously think that's what dreams are made of...omelettes, champagne, great music :)
3. GREED: What are you greedy for?
see previous answer, I feel that this is also very applicable to this deadly sin as well; however, on a serious note, I'm greedy for my Master's and Doctoral degree...
4. SLOTH: What is your plan for an ideal day of sloth?
Nothing spectacular...just kicking back on the couch watching meaningless shows on VH1 or MTV (i.e. The Hills, I Want to Work for Diddy, Luke's Parental Advisory)
5. WRATH: Describe a time that you let out a can of whoop ass on someone.
Lol....I've gotten better MUCH better about this one. These days, I just take a deep breath, smile, and then TACTFULLY let that person know what the deal is without losing my cool, but also letting them know what I will and will not stand for...my motto: There's a way to say EVERYTHING :)
6. ENVY: Who or what do you envy? Why?
No one really because everyone has issues...why would I trade my life's issues for someone else's crap?!
7. PRIDE: Have you ever had to swallow your pride? What are you proud of?
I'm a very proud person and absolutely loathe asking anyone for help, however, there have been times where I've had to let go of my pride and accept the assistance that was given...for instance, my dad was recently in the hospital for a while and people would constantly ask how he was doing and I'd reply with a smile "he's fine, thanks for asking"...while that certainly was not the case, I just did not want to go the thru all the details. Anywhoo, it came a time while I was in my office at work I just felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and I broke down. Throughout my dad's stinct at the hospital, my co-workers knew that something was wrong, but because I wouldn't share what was going on until I couldn't bear it any longer. I'm thankful to know that my co-workers sent up prayers along with my dad's numerous church members, family, and friends which eventually helped him to recover.

Anyway, if you're reading this this...TAG you're it :-)

Blogger Mishap

2008-08-18T11:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know if anyone happened to notice before I corrected it, but Blogger posted a blog of mine that I had written almost 2 weeks ago 3x's!!!! When I initially tried to post couple a weeks ago, it would not let me do it and I thought that my feelings about the Vibrating Touch would never be heard...or so I thought.

Keep in mind that I was extremely heated to see how Blogger was not cooperating at the time of my initial posting, however I am glad to know that my post had not been lost within the wide world of cyberspace. Anywhoo, so just to clear up any misunderstanding for those one to two people who read my blog on a regular basis (you know who you are, lol), while I felt very passionate about my distaste for the Vibrating Touch commercial, it was not my intent to have the very same post appear on my blog three times. Thank you...now you may return to your regularly scheduled programming. Happy Monday :)

Vibrating Touch

2008-08-15T20:20:00.003-07:00

So, I was up at approx. 3 am this morning....don't ask me why I was still up because I honestly don't even have a clue about why either... Anyway, I'm up watching VH-1 Soul (which happens to be my most favorite channel ever) and there's a commercial that comes on and it starts out with 2 women sitting in an office or something looking at a newspaper with an older lady sitting behind them. Anyway, the commercial progresses and the two women ran across an advertisement talking about, of all things, A VIBRATOR... So they're talking and they're talking... Meanwhile, as I'm watching this commercial, I becoming more and more shocked by the moment... I mean, like seriously, these two women are talking about a freakin' vibrator IN PUBLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who seriously has a conversation like that in public?!?! Maybe it's just me, but that is so inappropriate!!! I know that every one's opinion is not like mine; you know what they say, "opinions are like a*sholes...everybody has one" so I can take that... BUT, is thinking that having a conversation about vibrators IN PUBLIC is so utterly inappropriate a matter of opinion or is really just a matter of being DECENT??? I'd like to think that the latter is true...but, again, who knows -- because I could definitely in the minority who thinks so... Either way, I think that we as a society have become sooo relaxed in our everyday lives that the Trojan company didn't think twice about creating this commercial about their new product. I mean we live in the days of a lesser personal responsibility to ourselves and others so why wouldn't the Trojan company think twice about their commercial about the "Vibrating Touch", right???

I think that I should state that I know that, as humans, it is inevitable that we will continuously evolve. I mean, human civilization has evolved from being a group of people who were governed by nothing else other than the individual consciences of every living citizen to a collective of various nations, continents, and cultures...so, yeah, I get it!!! But, at some point of our evolution, are we going to just evolve ourselves right in an oblivion??? I mean seriously, my parents tell me ALL the time about how things are not the same as how they were when they were my age; and I can already see a drastic change in how things are now in contrast to when I was a little girl. I can pretty much say with confidence that a Vibrating Touch commercial would not have flown over too well in the mid to late 80's. So, just from judging how our society's tolerance for the public discussion of personal dealings like masturbation has drastically changed in 20 years, I can only imagine how it will be within the next 20 years...

The Presidential Slave

2008-07-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

Story found on GlobalGrind.com...

A 25-year-old New York City graduate student is threatening to sue a T-Shirt designer after being assaulted for wearing one of his designs.The woman bought a $69 shirt from Apollo Braun's Manhattan boutique that bore the words, "Obama is my slave." When she wore the shirt on Tuesday, four teenage girls accosted her - shoving her, pulling out her earphones, and spitting in her face, according to the New York edition of Metro News.The unnamed woman is reportedly seeking solace by suing Braun - born Doron Braunshtein - for "all he's got," the designer claims. He, of course, is shirking any responsibility for the incident and says that the shirt reflects the views of "ordinary WASPs."“For a lot of people, when they see Obama, they see a slave. People think America is not ready for a black president,” the Israeli-born designer said.
“I can’t stand Obama,” Braun says, but claims that it's not because the candidate is black. “That’s the only thing I like about him. He opens the door for other minorities.”
“He reminds me of Adolf Hitler,” Braun explained, adding he does not like the Illinois senator because “he is a Muslim” — a myth that Obama apparently cannot escape.
The designer has sold several other anti-Obama styles from his boutique, including shirts with slogans such as “Jews Against Obama,” “Obama = Hitler” and “Who Killed Obama?”

Okay...so Dionne's thoughts on this are...

It's not that i'm opposed to anyone saying anything negative about Obama, but this???? Calling him a slave???? Really dude??? Are you SERIOUS???!!!??!! Who thinks to do stuff like this especially in this day and age???? Now keep in mind, I'm not the type person who is all about being poltically correct but regardless of where you loyalties lie, this shirt is beyond offensive!!! I'm telling ya, just as soon as you think that some progress has been made...people have to go and pull this type stuff out of their butt. Maybe if he had said something like, "Obama is my B*tch" that would've been more palatable; but to call that man a slave???? Wowww

Tuesday Topics...

2008-07-15T08:04:00.001-07:00

I figured that I might blog for a minute since I'm working from HOME today (lol)...

1) Yesterday, my significant other and I were talking. He "suggested" that once my lease is up, that I needed to move back in with him. ERRR???? The reason, as he stated, was that we could save some money. I collected my thoughts and let him know that my cousin and I were thinking about possibly getting an apartment together for that very some purpose -- to save $$$. Well, then, he goes on to say that he feels left out and would like the opportunity to save money. Additionally, he went on to state that since we have been talking about getting married that it would make more sense to live together. But, that's when I took the opportunity to suggest that he move to a smaller apartment and in response to that, he said that the next time he moved it would be into a house... While I admire his desire to save money, I also KNOW that moving back in with him would be a recipe for disaster!!!

However, I've been trying to practice the art of negotiation as of late...AND DRUMROLL PLEASE....we decided to go to the bank and start a joint savings account!!!! He and I set up an automatic withdrawl that will some money out each time we get paid. Does it seem weird that I feel like this is an extremely grown up decision???

2) Last night, I was talking to one of my former supervisors from the Coach store. She and I have remained close throughout several years; in fact, I actually call her "my 2nd mother". Anyway, she asked me who I was going to vote for. From past experience, I've learned that you have to be careful who you divulge your politcal ideas to and judging from her reaction to my answer, I should've known better. But, I honestly thought that since we're close, that we could have a decent discussion about it...not so much.

As soon as I told her that I was voting for Obama, she immediately started ranting and raving and telling me how she disliked him and HATED his wife... Okay, and??? I don't know if she expected me to change my preference but either way I didn't really appreciate the conversation... I don't have a problem with conversing with people about politics...actually I enjoy it. However, it becomes a problem when you become too pushy about it.

3) Grad school update....got a 101 on my midterm and a 98 on my first paper!!! Go me!!!! :)

4) One last thing, while I was typing I just found out that one of my friends since middle school has given birth to a bouncing little boy!!! Yay!!! It seems like everyone is having getting married and/or having children. That's great but I often wonder when I will feel "ready" for that stage in my life. While I was at home this past Saturday, my parents and I were talking about how one of my best friends is looking for songs for her wedding. Well, my mother tells me that she had compiled a list of potential wedding songs (and I quote) "just IN case I decided to get married". LOL!!! Apparently, my mother thinks that since I haven't jumped the broom at age 26 going on 27, then it probably isn't going to happen any time soon... hahaha

This might just be the life...

2008-07-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, so my agency decided to implement a 4 day office work week plus 1 day working from home in address rising gas costs. Today (Tuesday) is my day. In my previous blog, I talked about going to New Orleans. Well, I just got back yesterday and rather than having to drag myself to work on today, it just so happens that my "work at home day" is today! Yay!!!!!!!!

I must say that this working at home stuff is pretty cool. My supervisor just called me and said that she was trying to find a piece of documentation that had been lost. Well....being that we have all been given laptops, all I had to do was simply email it to her. I didn't have to rush and put on something presentable in order to go to the office. I really like this and could get use to it. Maybe our executive director will implement a policy where we can work at home 3 to 4 days of the week...that would be EXTRA cool.

More Ramblings

2008-07-02T09:45:00.000-07:00

1. We got bonuses today. Depending on how long you've been with the agency, your check will reflect that. I had all plans on finishing up my shopping for my vacay to New Orleans AND getting my hair done. Needless to say, looks like I'll be getting a "box perm" from the corner store and making due with what's already in my closet... lol!!!

2. Grad school is starting to become a little overwhelming. I keep on having thoughts about POSSIBLY pursing a Phd in social work once I get my Master's but I don't know...guess the best thing to do would be to turn it right on over to God, huh?

3. Speaking of grad school...during my weekend escape to the Big Easy I'll be doing some a little homework :( On next week, I have a 2 papers due and I have NOT started!!! We had to read Toni Morrison's "The Bluest Eye" and also critique 3 articles which should be directed toward our preferred topic of interest because that it most likely be the topic that we have to research throughout the duration of the program...

I hate asking people for help, so it killed me when I had to email my professor and ask her to give me some direction for the aforementioned task of critiquing journal articles. But, I'm glad I did because she gave me some good pointers... So I think I'm going to look at focusing my research toward school-aged Black males -- most notably the effects of ADHD... Let me just say that I already have my thoughts regarding this and I think that many children get misdiagnosed AND then given a label that will follow them throughout their school years. However, the situation is made even worse when you have parents that aren't really involved in their child's school life.... Anyway, I'm not gonna get on a soapbox, but I am looking forward to my research... :-)

4. A lady that my agency just hired two weeks ago just walked out last week and I absolutely had no idea!!! Lol! The agency that I work for isn't big and everyone is CONSTANTLY in everyone else's business so it's extremely laughable that I had no idea that this lady had been gone for almost a week before I even noticed!!

However, I think that it's a testament that I stay out of everyone's business because I have too much going on in my life to think about another grown woman's whereabouts. Needless to say, when I did finally ask someone where the lady was, that person literally laughed in my face and asked where had I been for the last few days? I replied, "in my own world".... lol

Monday Ramblings...

2008-06-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

1. I've been working on a school group project for the last couple of weeks. We were asked to choose a psychological theory and present it. Well, to make a long story short, my group and I ROCKED IT!!! We had a Powerpoint presentation and we actually demonstrated that we knew what we were talking about rather than just reading from the slides. Our professor said that she was extremely impressed with our proficiency and gave us a 98%!!! Woo-hoo!!! (Sidenote: every group didn't do as well as we did, I saw another group's score was 85%) If I keep getting grades like that, I might actually like this whole grad school thing... lol

2. Since we're on the subject of grad school, mid-terms are coming up and I need to study. However, I feel like I have so much on my plate and feel like I don't know where to start. I've been severely neglecting my duties of my regular job and my consumers probably think that I'm the absolute WORST case manager they've ever had :( I've got to do better. So, anyway, I'm thinking that I probably wouldn't have as much of a problem focusing on what I need to do if I started working out; I hear that a vigorous workout can bring about clarity in one's life.

So, I brought some clothes to workout in during lunch. I'm thinking positively about this one... Trying not to think of it so much as a task, but rather a chance to release... woo-saaaa

3. This morning while on FaceBook, I see that Takara (our senior class prez) has posted that it's looking like our class reunion will probably be during Memorial Day weekend next year! I must say that I'm looking forward to see everyone. I mean, you get to "see" lots of people via facebook; but to actually see them in person after not seeing some people for almost 10 years will be super cool.

However, I keep wondering if it will be like "Romy and Michelle's Class Reunion"... lol. I mean, seriously, as I just stated, I'm planning on starting to work out so in my "delusions of granduer" I keep allowing myself to think that I'm going to show up really hot and lots of guys will profess their undying love for me and I'll get the award for most changed, most beautiful, etc -- much like Romy and Michelle. Lol!!!

I mean, hey, I can dream, right??

Time to party!!!

2008-06-19T12:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm at work yet again and not able to concentrate. HOWEVER, I feel like I have a pretty good excuse...I, Maya Dionne, am planning a birthday party!!!! Yay!!!!! Words cannot describe how super excited I am about it!! But, at the same time, I have reoccuring thoughts that it might not go as expected :(

But, anyway, here are the details...It's going to be on July 26 and we're going to go with a theme which celebrates the late 80's early 90's... Hence the birthday invite. Click on the link and take a look :)
Dionne's Birthday invite

So, in my mind, I'm having that delusions of grandeur where the house is full and everyone is dancing to the "grooves" of that period like "Poison" by BellBivDevoe and having a FABULOUS time...and which they should seeing as how we're having an actual dj, lots of food, pleeeenty of libations! So, that should make for a good time, right?????

Well, as soon as I start thinking about it too hard, my mind decides to do a 180 and allow me to think about the flip side of it... Like no one will be dancing, the food will suck, and the dj will suck even more; and I start to panic!!!

I mean, seriously, what if no one shows up or better yet a few people show up and they decide that the party is EXTRA lame...AND those aforementioned people not only LEAVE the party but also proceed to drag my name through the mud by saying how I don't know how to throw a party!!!

I keep on telling myself that I'm serioulsy overracting. Rather than thinking about how great or terrible the party should be, I should only concern myself with the day at hand, correct? But, you know how it is when you're anticipating something and the harder you try not to think about it, the more time you actually spend thinking about it???

I mean, I seriously have much bigger fish to fry other than who's gonna show up to my party (i.e. these 2 papers that I have due within the next weeks) but I just can't stop! HELP!!!!!

But, you know what makes it worse?? The website that I used to distribute the invites gives you a minute-by-minute, person-by-person rundown of things like, "how many people were invited"..."out of the invitees, how many of them openned the email"... and THEN it tells you "how many of the invitees actually viewed the web invitation"!!! So, every since I've started sending the invitations, I've been viewing the aforementioned stats AT LEAST 6 times a day!!! UGH!!

I'm convinced that by the time the party does actually take place, I will be even crazier than I am now...and I'm probably ALREADY one step away from being declared "certifiable" and able to collect a check so that the only thing that I'll have to worry about is how many graham crackers I can consume while standing in the front door in my underwear!!!! (lol)

But, seriously, I've started texting and calling people saying things like, "soooooo...I see that you have yet to openthe email that I've sent you about my party... When are you gonna look at it?" Lol! OR, after seeing that some people have just openned the email and haven't actually been to the website just obsolutely drives me up a wall!!! Because I reason, "hey you've already openned the email, why not just go ahead and click on the link to see the actual invitation"!!!! I swear, this is party is going to be the death of me... But, maybe I should stop with the "big brother is watching you" tactics regarding the party invites and just let the party turn out the way it is destined to...but I just really do not know how feasible that will be for me to leave that alone; however, I'm gonna try!!!

Did he really just slap his mother?!?!

2008-06-05T07:55:00.001-07:00

Ok, so if you watched the video then you might be able to understand my confusion... I mean, I keep thinking that my eyes must have been fooling me or that HAD to have been a joke... because that really doesn't happen in real life, right??

Ok, seriously...who slaps their mother and what type of mother allows their own child to talk to them like that OR slap her in the face?!?!

But, thinking about it deeper, I also have to ask what happened in that family's household to make a mother and son react to each other like that?? I mean, sure, it would be easy to say that he needs one of those "throwback" whoopings where a child would have to tear a switch of the tree and bring into the house and face the wrath of an angry parent of grandparent whose perverbial toes have stepped on one too many times. But, at the same time, does one's own family's version of WWF's "Raw is War" really tend to cultivate good family values and discipline?

I don't know; but what I do know that I'm still confused. But, what I know EVEN more is that would not have been Patricia Evans and myself; because, if it were, that video would've DEFINITELY ended differently... there probably would've been a little blurb scrolling across the screen saying something like "R.I.P. Dionne...I brought you into this world and I'll take you out -- I guess you forgot that. Love, Mommy"

Thursday Randoms....

2008-05-29T06:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm at work and trying to stall on doing these month-end reports that I have to do for the people on my caseload and I figured that I'd blog :)

1) I really need to get better with not procrastinating!!! I mean those aforementioned reports that I'm trying to put off are due the 1st day of every month WITHOUT FAIL! However, I manage to wait until the VERY last minute to start trying to do them and end up stressing myself out during my feeble attempt to get them done!!! UGHHH!!! I guess it's too much like right to actually start this effort earlier, huh?? Geesh!!!

2) So, I finally found out that I got accepted to grad school and I'm super excited about it....HOWEVER, I have orientation on tomorrow and I have to "find" an excuse regarding why I can't come to work. I'm sure you're asking, "why would she have to find an excuse for not coming to work in order to go to orientation?" Well, I'm glad you asked ;-) The reason for my "excuse finding" is because my job does not look fondly upon employees increasing their education!!!! Personally, I think that it's a weird and sadistic practice. I mean, seriously, who wouldn't want their employees to not better their education?!?! Again, that practice is extremely strange to me ESPECIALLY since that is one of the criterion used on our semi-annual and annual evaluations!!!! But, I've been told that when management sees that an employee is going to grad school, then they essentially see that as a measure that the said employee is using to improve themselves to leave and get another job!! I mean I can see why they might be a little worried about the latter, but at the same time, why would you want to hold someone back for your own selfish purposes?!?! Or, hey, maybe I'm just crazy for thinking that...**shrugging my shoulders**

3) Don't know if anyone's been paying attention, but we're in midst of a pretty heated political season and while it's ABSOULUTELY FABULOUS and I could talk about it for days...but also I think it's also becoming a little ridiculous... But, I'll talk about the fabulous part about it first...excuse me while I get on my soapbox :) Ok, so we've pretty much gotten the Republican side of the nomination wrapped up and it's been wrapped up for a while now -- and that's great for them.... or atleast it SHOULD be great for them. BUT, in the past few days, I've been seeing how former top Republicans such as Pat Buchanan and Scott McClellan (former press sec'y for George "Dubya" Bush) are coming out with these books which pretty much blast the Iraq War policies that have been such a stronghold for the the current administration!!! I mean, most people could care less about that, but to me it says what the people on the "right side of the aisle" have not wanted to admit for a loooonng time...BUSH'S WAR IS NOT CRACKED UP TO WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE! Now, please understand, I try hard not to necessarily affiliate myself to a specific political party (I mean I voted for Gov. Riley in the past Alabama gubernatorial race), but I've found myself leaning more to the left during 2008 presidential race. Anywhoo, the reason why I think the fact that Buchanan's and McClellan's books are great and right on time is because, hopefully, it will force McCain to take a stance that might be somewhat different from President Bush's. I mean, don't get me wrong, I KNOW that there's no possible way that our troops will be fully removed from the Middle East for years and years to come. HOWEVER, in my opinion, there needs to be a more progressive strategy for the war, rather just staying over there while there are still suicide bombers feverently bombing the streets of Iraq everyday meanwhile the American public is being led to believe that there's progress being made in the path of democracy for the Middle East. While I would like to believe that TRUE democracy could be achieved in countries of the world, I'm also not naive enough to believe that we're gonna achieve this anytime soon ESPECIALLY going on the present path that we're on today. So, if McCain is president, then it is my hope that he revamps this whole Iraq War idea... Anywhoo, let me switch soapboxes and talk about the ridiculousness that's happening on the Democratic side for a hot minute...

3a) In my humble opinion, Hillary needs to close up shop. It's time for her to go. She has "fought the good fight" and she needs to be the lady that claims to be. I mean, seriously, she loves to talk about how this race is sexist and she's not going to quit but she owes it the women to look up to her. No, Hillary, what you owe is that $6 million dollars plus some that you've had to loan to your campaign because you're getting a many contributors as you would like. Also, Hillary, you owe yourself the dignity of stopping the spectacle that you and your husband have carrying on the the past couple of months when your advisors started telling you that it might be time to exit. Now, I will say this and I don't mind telling anyone who asks... If by chance Hillary does end up getting the Democratic nomination, I will glady cast my vote for Sen. John McCain. As much as I would love to see a woman as the head of our country, in my opinion, Hillary is not that woman -- or atleast not in 2008. I feel that she has good intentions, but she also displays that her emotions too often get the best of her and I don't think that would be good living in the world that we live in. I mean, we're constantly in conflict with the Middle East and given the fact that a large majority of Middle Eastern countries do not even allow women to look men in the eyes, I don't think Hillary would be a woman that could stand up to that challenge. Look at Condie Rice...she can go over there and present herself in manner that is not disrespectful but can also effectively convey her message without making herself look so stupid that news outlets constantly replay her blunders like they do for Hillary. She has had to stick her foot in her mouth too many times for my taste. Maybe in 2012, after she's gotten a psychiatric evaluation, she should try to gain the nomination...but, as for now? Yeah, Hillary, not so much...

4)Ok, one more thing...I promise :) Did I happen to mention that I'm somewhat nervous about this whole school thing? I mean, I've found myself seriously contemplating what my orientation outfit as well as my first day of school outfit should be. I've wondered if I should be casual and wear jeans and a shirt so that I'll be seen as "friendly and approachable". However, I've also thought about possibly throwing on a pair of slacks and pearls so that I can show that I'm "professional and up for the challenge". Lol!!! Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Ok, I'm done with my randomness...Hopefully, I can now get some work done; or at least be able to do a little work until another idea floats into my head... I don't think I've ever told anyone, but I think that I might have a touch a A.D.D. (attention deficit disorder)... can you tell? lol!! Happy Thursday!!!!

OK....so what now?

2008-05-08T12:01:00.000-07:00

So...as I mentioned in my last post, my dad needs a kidney. Out of my dad's family, only myself and my aunt (my dad's sister) stepped up to get tested to see if we matched.

Initially, the nurses told my aunt and I that she would most likely be the best kidney match from my dad since they're biological siblings. Right??? Well, that didn't turn out to be the case... I actually came up to be the better match; more specifically, I was a 5 out of 6 match whereas my aunt didn't have the same blood type.

So, anyway, I went for a glucose tolerance test on this past Monday. It was tiring and my arm was bruised from being stuck so many times...not to mention the fact that I had not eaten since previous evening!!!

Well... I got my results and they won't let me go any further but the test showed that my glucose level was too low during the fasting period... So, not is this the end of the road in terms my giving my dad a kidney but it also means that I need to keep a close eye being a diabetic...

I just called my dad but there was no answer. I feel bad because I was pretty much his only known match so far and he was really counting on having this transplant by the summer... I know that God is in control and has His hand over this whole situation but I still can't help but to wonder "what now?"...I'm thanking God in advance for what's going to happen because I know that whatever His will may be, He is in control. Pray for me and my family :)

Feliz Seis de Mayo :-)

2008-05-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

Happy day after "Cinco de Mayo"!!!! Lol!! Ok, so I'm sitting here at work and letting my mind wander as usual... (sidenote: I think that I seriously have a problem with my attention span) But, anywhoo, I'm thinking about the past couple of days.

Yesterday, I went and spent about 5 hours at Kirklin Clinic to have a glucose tolerance test. I underwent that because I might be giving my dad a kidney... Anywhoo, I had to begin fasting on Sunday (5/4/08) in order to be "test-ready" on the next day (5/5/08). So.... as with fasting, in order to keep your mind off of eating, a lot of people meditate and/or become EXTRA introspective so that the thoughts of cheeseburgers and koolaid don't dance through your head like a semi-finalist on the show "So You Think You Can Dance"!

Well, thoughts raced through my head about what has happened over the previous year. I thought about how my dad was in a coma last year beginning on Mother's Day of last year. They said he wouldn't make it or if he did, he might have serious brain damage. Well, he's still here and I thank God for that!!!

Then, I thought about how I was in a job last year that was AT BEST okay, but it wasn't really something that I wanted to do. Or better yet, I didn't see myself doing for it more than a couple of years. But, in order to keep gas in my car, I would drag myself to work everyday. BUT, God stepped in, and even though I didn't know it at the time, made it possible for me to go back to working in a field that I feel passionately about -- social work.

I also thought about how I was glad that I finally followed that little voice in my head to go ahead and apply for grad school...despite my DEPLORABLE undergraduate GPA!! I mean, the worst they can say is "no", right? I'll still live, I'll still survive. But, to know that I finally got over that fear of being rejected was TOTALLY good for me because I let go of a huge burden!!

Continuing in that path, I thought about how I really just barely scraped by in college. I was much more involved in where the next party or set would be to even give my actual school assignments a second thought! However, I finished and I know that it could've ONLY been a higher power at work for that to have happened!!! But, to know that out of my maternal grandmother's 7 children and 13 grandchildren, I was the first to finish college is a humbling fact because I know that I didn't do it by myself!!! (BTW, this is a pic of the cousins who followed me as graduates of UAB)

Still, while sitting in the doctor's office and following a routine of having blood drawn for 4 hours and gulping down cups upon cups of water so that they could test my urine, still made me thankful...

To know that I can even be considered a good match and a potential kidney donor to my dad so that his life may possibly be prolonged is wonderful!! To know that I'm still here despite many times feeling as if I didn't... or to know that I've found a purpose and a destination in life when I didn't know what I what I should do the next day or even the next hour made me sooooo THANKFUL!!

So, in closing, I'd like to say that I thank God for the days with the sunshine as well as the days filled with clouds... Things could've been a lot worse and He has seen me through my share of pain, but I'm glad for them because it's a been a lesson learned.

I thank HIM for what's he has done in my life, what HE is doing, and what HE will do in the future...I'd like to think that I'm living a life of expectancy!! I expect great things to happen for me as well as everyone who reads this blog!! So, good day and FELIZ SEIS DE MAYO!!!!!

A Reason Not to Facebook at Work...A LOOOONG Thursday Afternoon Rant

2008-04-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm venting... You know how you have certain people that you try at ALL costs to avoid??? You know the type...ex-significant others, negative people, maybe even people whose body odor not only singes your nose hairs but will also prompt a certain amount of bile to come up without fail??? Ummm...ok, that last example might be a little extreme. But, NONETHELESS, I'm sure that we all have them.

Well, anyway, my #1 person that I try to avoid is none other than my EX-boyfriend and I had the oh-so delightful experience of running into him on Facebook. You see, the "geniuses" at FB decided that implementing a nice, little instant messenger apparatus would be the icing on the cake for an already extremely intrusive webpage. I mean, GEESH...people can log-in and automatically see what you've written on someone else's wall in addition to the pictures of you that your friend might have posted that are less than flattering! Well, anyway....

I was online engaging in my own little "Nosy Rosie" activities and noticed that my ex IM'ed me...Now, that should've been clue #1 to get off especially since I have better things to do while I'm on the clock ;-) But, you know how it is...your mind wanders and you get a lightbulb in your head and it prompts you to surf the web. I digress...

When he first IM'ed me, he asked me something like "hey can we talk about somethings". Well, I promptly replied by saying, "no". Following my reply, I began getting a barrage of messages from him where he initially said that he "understood that I was going thru something and that I needed to pray about it"...blah, blah, blah. After like the second or third message, I finally broke down and basically said, "look, I'm not going thru anything...I just don't feel like talking about anything that isn't relevant to me...." Now, I felt like I was being nice by saying that rather that "please don't talk to me". I guess that was clue #2 to get my butt of Facebook, however, I stayed on Facebook ANYWAY!!!!

Well, once I sent that....all hell broke loose!!! He started off by saying that he noticed that I had been conversing with one our mutual friends and that it was obvious I just didn't want to talk to him... Now, stop...anyone else would've made that last statement and left it alone, right??? Well, needless to say, I finally let him go on with his rants and raves about how I never call and him yada, yada, yada...and just when I couldn't take it anymore, I responded!!!!!!

I told him that I didn't want to talk to him he's so negative to the point that once I finished talking to him, I'm not only completely drained but also utterly ticked off because he's C R A Z Y!!!! He's one of those people who has the "woe is me" attitude and constantly thinks that the world owes him something... Dude, you're almost 26 years old!!! Life is not fair, and whoever told you that it was has done a serious disservice to you!!!!

Anywhoo, the convo went on far longer than it should have and I could kick myself for entertaining such fooliness because put me in a terrible mood!!! Argh!!!

But, after going to lunch and having had time to think about it, I just decided that I'm gonna just gonna delete him as a friend on Facebook. After all, I don't communicate with him via phone calls or texts; so it's kinda pointless to allow a person like him the opportunity to use Facebook instant messenger to invade my life... So, I'm gonna go about the business of deleting him as soon as I can find out how to do it...lol

HOWEVER....I don't feel like deleting him as a friend is enough I much rather prefer tying him in a chair and giving him lashes with a wet towel... But, you know what would be even better?? If we were in medieval times, I could possibly get away with going to the village leaders and demanding that his tongue be cut out for various unfavorable infractions like lying and being a big, wimpy baby!!!! Oh, no I an even better one...a scarlett letter "J" on his chest for the word "jerk"!!!! YES!! Ok on second thought, I might have taken that too far as well :-)

But... just know, if you hear of a guy in the Birmingham metropolitan area who has mysteriously gotten branded the letter "J" on his forehead...then just pretend like you never read this, ok? Lol!

Ahem!!! Is this thing on???

2008-04-03T12:14:00.000-07:00

Ok...well, I've decided to try to see what this blogging thing is all about :-) I'm a little apprehensive. Don't really know what to discuss; but, I figured "what the hey", I'll give it a shot... I feel like I'm on stage in front of like a massive group of people and everyone is looking and trying to figure out what I'm going to say. Looking to see if I'm going to make a fool out of myself or freak out and have an anxiety attack and make a quick exit from the stage... I think I'm going to choose the later; I'll leave and go consult Patrice since she seems to be a "blogger guru"!!!

So, until next time...I'm dropping the microphone a la Eddie Murphy in the "sexual chocolate" scene from "Coming to America"... powder blue tux and all... lol!
~Dionne